More Than Words
by My Personal Rose
Summary: Sharpay's been rendered speechless for the next three weeks...when shes partenered for a project with Gabriella can she keep up the icey walls she's built around herself? Or will they all fall down around her? -Femslash- GabPay
1. Silence

_**A/N: Okay, so this is my first Gabpay EVER! This isn't one of my usual pairings, but I've been reading a lot about them lately, and I just... I just think the pieces fit.**_

_**Of course, if you don't like this pairing (because its a femslash or if you think its wrong) I invite you to click the back button on your browser right now, no one is going to make you read this. So please don't flame, this is a free site, and I'm free to choose to write about this pairing. If you have a problem with this... make a forum or something. Don't bring it here.  
**_

_**A special thank you to Live2rite in advance... she doesn't really like this pairing (she definitely prefers Liley) but she's stuck with me when I've been writing this, and was nice enough to read over it for me, and give me a few pointers.**_

_**I know not a lot happens in this chapter but please, bear with me. It will get better. :)**_

_**Enjoy XD**_

_**Oh and this is Sharpay's point of view  
**_

-x-x-x-x-x-x-

My hand's always sweat when I'm nervous. It's usually one of the only outer signs that someone's gotten to me. And right now, I'm nervous. A Doctor sits in front of me, making thoughtful sounds as he looks over my medical files. Surely the diagnosis is already written down somewhere. It can't possibly be that difficult to tell me what's wrong.

I want to scream, but that would be pretty pointless. And painful. My throats been in agony for almost two weeks, and my voice barely exists. I tried resting it for a while, but nothing seems to be working. This is where my love of musicals gets me? A sore throat and a croaky voice? Wow, what further motivation do I need for the next one?

"I'm afraid this is an issue we can only fix with minor surgery."

It doesn't register that the Doctor said 'minor', or even that he sounded apologetic. The word 'surgery' makes my heart race. I wipe my palms against my jeans, biting my lip. "It would be very safe- of course there's risks to all surgery," He continued. "But this would be a keyhole operation, and simple get in, get out job."

I think he's trying to make me feel better somehow, he's offering me some kind of pathetic half smile. Needless to say I'm not very impressed. My mother doesn't seem to be either.

"Surgery?" Wow, she sounds shocked. Concerned even."Will it scar?" Oh, right. Of course, that was the most important issue on my mind too. Glad you asked that mom, phew!

"Unlikely, but if it does it will be barely a centimetre long. Very small, very discreet."

And now that that's all cleared up...

"And this will fix her voice? She'll be able to perform in this end of term musical. It's in five weeks..."

"Probably not this term, but if all goes to plan then next years, maybe next terms, I'm quite sure of it." He turns to me, finally addressing me directly. "But after the surgery you won't be able to talk for four weeks, and even in an emergency I want it to be no more than a whisper. And when I mean emergency I do mean _emergency_. The vocal cords will be very tender and extremely susceptible to damage for the first month after-"

"And if she doesn't?" My mother asks, possibly the first sensible question yet.

"Then she'll probably never talk, let alone sing, again."

-x-x-x-x-x-x-

I'm used to all eyes turned to me as I walk down this hall way, but I've never hated it before. I've never wanted them to all look away, turn back to their friends and their lockers, to pretend I'm not there. But now I do. Their eyes burn, and I can feel them even when I look at the floor. Some of the looks are pitying, like they don't know how I'm going to cope a month (well, it's down to three weeks now) without talking (something I've been wondering myself actually). Other's are... less pitying. More gloating. Like 'finally, the bitch can't talk any more'.

I don't want either of these stares. Pity is for losers and I refuse to let this hold me back. And the gloating... maybe on some level I deserve that. But it's a level I'd rather not get familiar with yet.

I almost throw open my locker, and the door crashes noisily into the one next to it. Now I know everyone's staring. I really wish I could vocalize all of my inner anger, but... I can't. So I just throw all of my heavy books into my locker, as hard as I can manage. I notice the cover come off of my biology book, but can't be bothered to care. I haven't got that till fifth period anyway.

I close my eyes as I place my books for next period in my bag, zipping it up as slowly as I can manage. I really don't want to do this. People will be shooting rumours at me, and I can't imagine they'll be helped by the ugly looking wound upon my neck. I sigh as I stare at the mirror on the inside of my locker, finally subjecting myself to wearing my mother's 'out of hospital' gift, after I spent all of last week in there, waiting for some of the swelling to go down. A pink, shimmery scarf. I loop it around my neck, giving myself one last glance in the mirror before slamming my locker shut.

Only three weeks left of this crap. Three weeks of no talking. But can I even manage that? I guess I haven't got a choice... I'll have to.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Wow. Have you guys really got nothing better to look at? It's English. You're meant to be reading the texts in front of you, occasionally writing notes at interesting points in the poem. It's what I'm trying to do... but this is so distracting. I try not to look up, knowing all I'll see is a few people staring at me over their shoulders, but I feel their eyes on me, looking at my neck, my heavily exposed neck...

I touch the scarf there delicately, not wanting to damage the stitches- the last thing I need is an open neck wound in the middle of school- and feel my body relax a bit, relieved that the scarf is still there. I try and focus on my work, but to no avail. I look up to see who's staring at me now. Troy. Troy Bolton. Man, he's the last person I want to see me this way. Especially after the way I embarrassed myself trying to attract his attention last year.

"Troy!" I hear a whispered voice scold, and my eyes swivel left, and I see Gabriella giving him a stern look. Sorry, I meant the second to last person I wanted to see me this way...

Oh, this is too much. Too precious. Gabriella Montez protecting me? I almost let myself slip into a smile when she smacks his arm, having not looked away after her scolding.

I don't want her pity, or her protection. The only person looking out for me is me. And I plan to keep it that way.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Music. I always sing in music. Mrs Riley always works her way around the class, and you have to present whatever you've been working on over the last few days. I'd been so distracted that I hadn't thought to prepare anything... and I'd never done anything but sing in this class. In fact I'm not sure Mrs Riley knew I could do anything _but_ sing...

I sigh, sitting in my assigned seat, noticing but not acknowledging that Gabriella has sat next to me, as per usual.

"Hey!" Her voice sounds smiley, like she's showing off all of her teeth, but I don't turn to check. I stare ahead of me, silent. "So, what are you doing today?" I finally turn to frown at her, a look of confusion on my face that translates to _'Why are you even talking to me?'_. She smiles back, shrugging. "I know you usually sing, but can you play any instruments?"

I don't answer. I can't verbally, but I don't try and mime it out or draw her a picture. After a while I feel a little bad for ignoring her, but it's not until everybody's settled that I start pretending to play the piano underneath my desk.

I can tell she's smiling out of the corner of my eye.

"Now then class, who would like to start?" Mrs Riley usually wouldn't even ask. Usually she'd pick me and that would be the start of the lesson. I frown. Why is everybody treating me so differently?

Gabriella puts her hand up. I should have known she would use this as an opportunity to suck up...

"I think Sharpay wants to go first."

I turn to her, surprised to say the least. She gives me an encouraging look as Mrs Riley dawns upon us, looking sympathetic, her eyes as patronising as her voice.

"Miss Montez, I don't know if you've heard but Miss Evans is...she can't sing today."

Gabriella looks angry, and I'm scared she's about to try and argue my case for me so I place my hand on her knee. I don't want to create a fuss today, it's bad enough just being back in school.

When it's her turn she refuses to do anything but stare at her desk, not even flinching when Mrs Riley starts shouting at her to go to the Principal's office.

Gabriella Montez... in the Principal's office. I've never heard anything of the sort. She's always such a goody two shoes.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-

At lunch I sit with Ryan, who's sitting with Kelsi. Kelsi isn't someone I would usually talk to anyway unless we're doing a production, so it's not too different when I don't greet her. I offer a smile and a small wave to Ryan, and he pats the seat next to him, kissing my forehead as I sit down.

Kelsi makes small talk, and every now and then I nod or smile, usually off of Ryan's 'please try and be nice' look. I think he likes this Kelsi girl. Or at least wants to be really good friends with her. Beats me. I always thought he was gay. And Kelsi I get this... kind of strange vibe from.

"So, did you guys hear about Gabbi being sent to the Principal's office?" Kelsi pipes up, and I bite my lip. Of course I heard, I was there.

"Oh my God!" Ryan exclaims. "What for?"

"For refusing to show her assignment in Music Class."

"That's really not like Gabriella. Wow."

"I know!"

I push my mashed potatoes around my plate, a small smile creeping onto my face. It disappears as the seemingly mushy food catches on my slightly swollen throat.

"Are you okay?" I look up, meeting dark eyes, and I realise I'm staring for a moment before I realise who it is.

I nod, my face contorted in quite a bit of pain as I force more mash potatoes down my throat. Gabriella frowns, sitting down next to Kelsi.

"Gabbi, hey. How was the Principal's office?" Kelsi asks.

"Oh, tonnes of fun." Her voice drips with sarcasm. "I have to work on a private assessment to perform at the school talent show."

"Oh, when's that?"

"Three weeks. It's set up to be a week before the end of term musical."

"At least you've got some time."

Gabriella just nods, looking at her lunch tray in disgust before walking off. The rest of us look around confused as the bell rings, and Kelsi and Ryan stand up, heading out of the cafeteria. I bide my time, not wanting to be there before the teacher. Way too much hassle.

Someone reaches over my shoulder, placing a cup on the table in front of me. I turn around, and see Gabriella heading off to class, no one else. I pick up the cup and smile, picking up an ice cube and sucking on it gently. She looks back, winking and signalling for me to hurry up. I know she's in my Biology class next.

To be honest I'm a bit confused. No one's been this nice to me in a long time. I pick up the cup of ice and my bag and head towards my next lesson.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-

I take my usual seat next to Ryan, who's deep in discussion with Gabriella when I walked in. They move apart, sitting in their separate seats as I sit down. I frown at theirs speediness to move apart, but a reassuring smile from Gabriella makes me feel comforted that maybe it wasn't something I did. I sigh, holding my head in my hands, wondering what is going on with me today. This isn't the normal Sharpay... this isn't me. Is it?

It's hard to tell, but I find it so hard to keep my thoughts as... focused as they usually are without being able to answer back to people with some form of comment, without being able to shoo people away with a simple slip of the tongue. Running a hand through my hair I pop another piece of ice into my mouth. The cold water slides down my throat, instantly cooling the agonising pain residing there.

"...if you could all find a pair for your project then..." My head shoots up. Pair? Project? What project? How long was I zoned out for? I turn to Ryan, but he's disappeared, and in his place is Gabriella.

"Wanna be partners?"

I look around, I don't think I have much choice. Ryan seems paired with Troy, Kelsi with Taylor... but at least I know Gabriella's smart. She might not be a bad partner at all. I roll my eyes, submitting myself, and she bursts like an overflowing dam, ideas for the project coming in all directons and in all shapes and sizes. I can't help but tune this out, staring straight ahead of me at the cup of ice on my desk.

This is gonna be a_ long_ three weeks.


	2. Rabbits

**_AN: Wow, that was a nice response considering this is my first GabPay, and I hope I don't dissapoint... anyways, thanks for reading. And again, thanks to Live2rite for making sure my chapters are ok to post!_**

-x-x-x-x-x-x-

So I've found out that the Biology project isn't due in for another two weeks. Two weeks of me and Gabriella sitting in the same room together, doing science.

We decided (without much participation from me) that it wasn't a good idea to do this separately, mainly because I couldn't call her up and tell her about my ideas. I could email her of course, but sometimes she didn't check her emails for weeks on end, or so she tells me.

We're meeting today after school, to go and start on the project at her house.

"Please, please, please be nice to her!" Ryan asks, stepping out of my car. I can only sigh, not wanting to promise anything.

_Depends, will she be as annoying as she was yesterday?_

I managed to deduce that the reason Gabriella was being nice to me yesterday. She must have felt sorry for me. I mean, I can't speak and I can't act like I would usually act towards her. Unfortunately a person loses most of their ability to use sarcasm when they lose their voice.

It's a shame. I kinda loved how naïve Gabriella could sometimes be when I was at my meanest, somehow thinking I was being nice.

And now she must not have the foggiest. Surely if she can miss the sarcasm in my voice she can miss the mean vibes I try and give out when I'm silent. I'm mute. Like a freaking broken toy.

In home room I get out my biology book attempting (in vain) to fix the cover. I notice _her_ sit next to me, but I force myself to focus on the textbook in front of me. The sticky tape gets stuck to my fingers, and I hear her giggle softly.

"Do you want some help, Sharpay?" I shake my head, continuing to stare straight ahead of me, and she laughs again as I struggle at trying to keep the cover straight on the book whilst also trying to stick it down. "Because I could. It really wouldn't be a problem."

I turn to look at her, trying to figure her out. She doesn't look sorry for me, but looks can be deceiving. She just looks oddly smiley, and kind of amused. After another attempt I chuck down the book in frustration, and for a moment nothing happens. Gabriella picks up the book, straightening out the cover and holding it up for me.

I can't help but stare. Why? Why is she doing this to me? I mean... why is she doing this for me?

It doesn't make sense. I was so mean to her, all of last year. I tried my hardest to split her and Troy up, and now I realise that was stupid. But she had something that I couldn't have. I guess the feeling was just so unfamiliar, alongside the jealousy, that I guess I didn't know how to handle it. Just like I don't know how to handle this, what she's doing now.

"Aren't you going to tape it up?"

I shake myself out of my thoughts, grabbing some more sticky tape and sticking down the cover. When it's done she puts it down, smiling at it proudly. I don't get why. It's just a book.

"There, now it'll be a lot easier for you to study." Huh, she says that like it's a good thing. "Can I sit by you in English?" She seems to blurt... and I frown at her. Why? She usually sits next to her oh-so-perfect boyfriend._ "_Troy's being..." She frowns, and so do I, mainly because of the fact she's not smiling. It's strangely unsettling. She fiddles with her fingers, and I look away. Obviously she doesn't want to tell me. "But can I?" Oh, I never gave her an answer.

I shrug, showing how much I don't really care, and she offers me another smile.

"Thank you."

'Thank you'? What did I do? I shrug again, not really knowing what to say. If I could say anything.

"So are you still coming round mine after school?"

I nod. What choice do I really have? Plus it's a good way to at least make it seem like I want to be a part of this project.

"Good. Do you want my mum to make you dinner?"

I try and think of a way to say what I want to without writing it down. I wave my hand in the air, teetering it as if it was off balance.

"Maybe?" Gabriella frowns. "What, depends on if you're hungry or not?"

I shake my head, because I know I'll be hungry, that's not the issue. I point up at the clock in the classroom. "Oh, depends on the time." I nod. "Well, I think it'll most definitely go past seven. We have a lot of planning to do."

I look around the room, and point at Ryan. "Ryan?" I nod again. "Is he okay?" I sigh. This girl's slightly dense for somebody so smart. I turn to her, raising my eye brow. Ah, see. Sarcasm doesn't only stem from the voice... "Oh, tell Ryan." She realises, and I nod my head once, my face a picture of relief. "Of course." She walks over to his desk, and starts chatting to him. I stare ahead of me and notice Troy staring at me again. But not at my scarf covered neck... and he doesn't look concerned or bothered for my health. He winks at me, and I can hardly suppress a shudder. Seriously? I am _so_ over him.

Gabriella comes back with the smile reinstated on her face. "Ryan said he'll ring ahead so no one cooks you dinner at home."

I give Troy another glance before nodding, and putting my textbook in my bag, ready to head over to English.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-

I hate being stared at, but I can feel her eyes on me even as I try and ignore her. Jackie and Lea are talking amongst themselves about some new 'hottie' and I focus on picking at the salad in front of me. It's so bland that I think I might die of boredom. The only thing is that if I had anything more than these girls had on their plates they'd start ranting and raving about carbs, and fat, and sugar and a whole load of other crap I really don't need right now. The thing is... I know I don't need to diet. But they make me feel almost... insecure.

I don't even know why I'm sitting with them. Ryan looked too engrossed in whatever conversation he was having with Zeke I guess. And the only other person that seems to be showing any genuine interest in me is Gabriella. I sigh, wishing she would look away. I pick a piece of cucumber from my salad and wince in sympathy for my throat.

I finally lose the willpower to keep on staring at my salad, and my eyes drift up, meeting hers. She's facing me, staring as she talks to Taylor about something or another before looking away quickly when she notices I'm watching her. Her eyes look puzzled, like she can't figure out quite what I'm doing. Taylor says something and she laughs, loudly. I close my eyes, opening them only to see where I'm placing my fork in my salad.

"Can you get fat if you eat too much salad?" Lea wonders out loud, and I can't help but stare at her incrediously. I push the salad away from me, not hungry all of a sudden. I notice Gabriella stand up from her table, giving me a strange look that could almost be disappointment.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-

The end of school came much sooner than I thought it would. Or at least it feels like it. Gabriella's meeting me by my car so we can drive to her house. She got her mom to give her a lift today so we could carpool home.

I wipe my hands on my jeans, my feet fidgeting as I wait.

"Hey Sharpay." I turn to meet a pair of deep, blue eyes that I used to go weak at the knees for. He's less than a metre away from me, and I give him a confused look as he gets closer.

"Look, I've been thinking Shar..." I wish he wouldn't call me that... Troy has no right to call me nicknames... "And I've really given... _us_ some thought." What is he on? There is no 'us'. I've shown no interest whatsoever in him for the past three or four months. "And if you wanted to meet up today, say at eight o'clock, I wouldn't mind having you round." ...What? "My parents are gonna be out... till tomorrow afternoon. So we'd have _all night_."

He whispers the last two words in my ear, and I clench my fists, fuming. I want to scream at him, I want to shout at him that he repulses me, that if he thinks that all I'm good for he can screw right off...

But I don't.

I push him away as he leans in to kiss me, giving him a look somewhere between scared and disgusted. I do my best to take my fear out of the look, not wanting him to see that side of me. I keep it protected for a reason.

"So do we have a date?"

I shake my head, opening my car door and closing myself inside, locking the doors. I thank God that the hood is up.

"I get it you're busy!" He shouts through the window, like I haven't just locked myself in my car. "We'll do this some other time." He winks at me once more, and walks away.

God... what is wrong with that boy? I swear he used to be okay at least.

I focus on breathing, in and out, slowly, steadily, my eyes closed, trying to slow down my speeding heart.

I jerk, jumping, my hand on my heart, which is now pounding again at a knock on my passenger side window. I turn, and see Gabriella pointing at the lock on the door. I unlock the doors, and she climbs in, giving me a confused look.

"Why were you sitting in here with the doors locked?"

_Your boyfriend_, I think, but shrug like I haven't got an answer. I'm not going through this with her. This relationship is strictly work related.

"You're a strange one, Sharpay." She smiles as I start up the car. I wonder if she would have said that to me if I could talk, or if she's just being slightly more relaxed around me. It probably didn't hurt that I couldn't snap something back at her.

My phone rings. Needless to say I'm surprised, why call the speechless? I look at the caller ID; it's my mother. I flip it open, and hold it to my ear, doing my best to focus on my driving.

"Sharpay? Sharpay are you there?" I frown, how the hell does she expect me to reply? I place the phone on loudspeaker, placing it in its holder, and nudge Gabriella lightly. "Sharpay? Answer me! I know you can't talk but..."

Gabriella gets the idea, frowning at the phone like it's crazy. "She's here." She mutters. I think she's a little shocked that my mother needs confirmation I'm listening to her when I'm vocally challenged.

"Good, now I've just spoken to the Doctor and he says that there's laser surgery you can get to take away the scarring on your neck. You don't want an ugly wound ruining what looks you _have_ got-" I quickly snap the phone shut, my hand automatically coming up to fiddle with the scarf around my neck. I don't look at her, but I see Gabriella face the window, almost guiltily. She gives me some directions on where to go now I'm in town, and I nod, my eyes focusing on the road.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Her mom smiles at us when we walk in, her grin matching Gabriella's to a tee. "Oh is this the friend you're having over for dinner?"

"This is Sharpay. She's working with me on the biology project." Gabriella smiles back, not denying or confirming that I'm her friend. Which is good, I don't want to complicate things. "But yeah, she's staying for dinner."

Her mum nods, and I smile back at her as politely as I can before following Gabriella up to her bedroom.

It's about the size of my on suite, but it definitely suits her personality. There's a few posters of bands she likes, and a poster of a periodic table on the wall opposite her bed. It's a double bed, which gives her brownie points to say the least, and everything seems to have it's own little place. There are typical piles of teenage clothing on the floor, but somehow even they looked organised.

I look over at the far corner of the room, where Gabriella's laptop is, and I'm surprised to see a keyboard, and not a bad quality one at that.

"It's not much." Gabriella shrugs. "But it's home."

I just walk over to the bed, sitting on the edge of it to take off my shoes whilst Gabriella empties the contents of her bag onto her bed.

I just take my biology book, a notepad, and a pen out, thinking I probably don't need the rest of the crap in there.

I notice a one notebook labelled 'Songs and Poems', complete with loopy handwriting, and pick it up. I don't open it, just study the cover.

"Ah, that's a little private." Gabriella blushes, plucking it from my fingers. I smile at the look on her face, and it suddenly occurs to me to ask whether laughing will hurt my vocal cords. I'll have to get Ryan to call my Doctor later. "So... biology." Gabriella starts. "I've got quite a few ideas..."

I force myself to stay awake during her half an hour discussion with herself, watching her lips for pauses, nodding in the appropriate places, and often shrugging when she asked me questions.

"So which idea do you want to do?"

I bite my lip, thinking for a moment on which will be easiest for me to be able to keep up with. I may not be totally interested in the idea but I don't want to be left behind. Hopefully I'll be able to talk when the time for the presentation comes around, and I'd like to know what I'm talking about.

I hold up two fingers, and she nods slowly. "Number two? Right."

Number two was an idea about exploring the different STD's that effect the human body and how they effect it.

At least this was something I knew a little about. Only a lot of people in our year still seem pretty clueless, mainly because our Sex Ed teacher is an 'Erotophobe'. She has a fear 'of sexual love or sexual questions'. Personally I think she's in the wrong line of work. Usually she just stays quiet at the front of the class whilst we talk amongst ourselves...

"Number two it is. There are a few ways we can carry out the presentation..." I'm not sure if Gabriella has twigged that she's basically talking to herself.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Gabriella's mom, Rachel, makes a gorgeous spaghetti bolognese dish that doesn't stand much of a chance on my plate. I close my eyes whilst they say grace in an attempt to be respectful before picking at my food, doing my best to keep from inhaling it like I would at home. Food this good doesn't deserve to be kept outside of my stomach for very long, but I don't want to make a fool of myself.

Strangely enough the food slides down my throat (especially the spaghetti) a lot easier than the mashed potatoes I was eating yesterday, and the salad I'd forced down today. Though I have been wondering what the hell went into those mashed potatoes.

"So, Sharpay, you seem like a very quiet girl?"

I look up from my food to meet the eyes of Gabriella's mom. They're dark like Gabbi's and they almost feel like she's x-raying me. My mother's never given me such a studying look in my life. Most of her glances as shallow, and always skin deep, checking me for flaws and the like. I've decided to wear the scarf at home, just to keep the woman from staring at my neck.

I quickly look at Gabriella, and she smiles at me apologetically. I nod at her. It's okay... it just took me by surprise that she hasn't been blabbing everything to her mother like I know some people have been (due to the fact they ask my own mother a lot of questions). I breathe heavily, not sighing, just preparing myself as I reach up, slipping the scarf off of my neck, careful in case it's caught on any of the stitches.

Gabriella raises her eyebrows, as surprised as I am by my actions. I haven't shown this to anybody outside of my family yet, and here I am, revealing it to someone I can't call my friend and her mother, who's a total stranger to me.

"Oh, I see." Her mother says, her voice strangely understanding. "Will it heal soon?" I can only nod, holding up three fingers, my stare slightly blank. "I assume it's not days, and years and months sounds like too long... so I assume three weeks?" Again, I nod. She doesn't look bothered after I do, and turns back to her food. She's not repulsed, and she's not bothered. Where did this woman come from that my mother didn't?

I catch Gabriella's eye, and she's beaming at me. I don't know what I did to deserve a smile like that, but I shrug it off as she goes back to her food, sneakily placing the scarf on the chair on the other side of her.

I scoop some bolognese into my mouth, not bothering to pick at it any more. I have a feeling Gabriella couldn't care less.

"Hungry?" I nod mutely at my project partner, watching the amused smile on her lips. "I should think so with the rabbit food you were eating at lunch." Her tone is disapproving, and I look at her for a moment, wondering if that's why she'd been staring at me throughout lunch. She shrugs her shoulders lightly, reaching over and grabbing the dish of garlic bread, not shy about how much she puts onto her plate either. For the first time in almost a week and a half I don't feel insecure. Not about agreeing to a second helping, and not about the fact that the short red line running across my throat is on show.


	3. Rinse

**A/N: I'm SO sorry about how delayed this is! I find it way hard to keep up on top of everything, plus I lacked the inspiration for a little while. Other couples have been praying on my mind and stealing my creativity I'm afraid. Anyways, enjoy... I know it's short, but I'll do my best to sort out and update when I can.**

x-x-x-x-x-x

So it's now Thursday, and I'm already not sure how much of this I can stand. Today school was… very trying. I can't speak in class, meaning it's hard for me to grasp the things I don't understand. I resorted to writing a note to the teacher this morning, handing it to her after the lesson. War literature is hard enough to understand even when you can ask questions.

Though it does help that Gabriella sits next to me in English now, as much as it pains me to admit it. She often realises when I'm so deeply confused I might be about to run out of the classroom and leans over to help me.

I sigh, tapping my pencil on the notepad in front of me as I sit alone in Gabriella's room. She's left me here while she's doing the chore her mom's given her. I'm meant to be working on the project. You know, like I really care about it or something. I trace the outline of an angel, trying to take my mind off of… I don't know. Life?

My phone rings, and I sigh, wishing people would stop calling me when I can't even reply. Needless to say I'm getting kind of tired of all the one sided conversations. I flip it open, not looking at the name, my other hand scratching in the details of the angel on my notepad.

"Sharpay? I know you can't answer me, but I just felt the need to apologise." It's Bolton. Maybe he's over his funny turn or whatever the hell Tuesday was. "I don't know what came over me the other day, but I feel like I should make it up to you. So I want to take you out to dinner." I shake my head no, before realising that he can't see me. So I just roll my eyes, annoyed that he would ask me when he can't see me or my reaction. "I'll discuss the details with you tomorrow, just make sure you've got a free night this week. Next week if you're already busy. Anyway that's all I really have to say… so I'll see you at school." The line goes dead as soon as the words are out of his mouth, and I throw my phone onto my bed as I closed it, shutting my eyes angrily. What's he playing at? Just assuming I'm going with him! Honest to god, I can't figure him out. He has a girlfriend, a nice, pretty, if sometimes a little over-happy and slightly annoying girlfriend… and last year they made it pretty obvious that they thought they were perfect for each other, so why the big change?

I look at the picture in front of me, and notice that the angel's face looks… she looks sad. I look at the sad curve of her mouth, and sigh, drawing a cross of masking tape or something similar over her lips, trapping her voice. Her eyes still radiate sadness, and I tear my own eyes away from hers. They make me feel lonely, which I guess I am, listening to Gabriella hoovering downstairs, the sound ever so faint in the background. She might be a while, and so I scan the room for something besides this stupid project to help keep me entertained. My gaze falls on her keyboard, and I look at the door once more, deciding whether or not to just go for it… I decide it won't hurt, and move to sit down at the keyboard. It faces her window, which I think must be quite nice when she's looking for inspiration.

I turn the power on, running my fingers lightly over the keys, and closing my eyes to let the music come to me. I breathe deeply, my fingers finding a position on the keys as I open my eyes, before watching them flow over the board.

It's a medium to fast paced yet mellow tune that I wrote a while ago. Though I still haven't found the right lyrics for it yet.

The music feels like fresh air as I breathe in once again, feeling my body react to the music, a weird mix between exhilaration and relaxation. My fingers feel like they're dancing over the keys, the chords mixing with the melody. I'm almost done, playing the last bit of the song... now that my fingers are in the flow of the song I let my eyes flutter shut for a moment, savouring the rush of the music.

It's only when I finish it, letting out a long, slow breath that I notice the hoovering sound has disappeared.

It's only then I hear the soft sound of palms tapping against each other in a quiet clap.

I spin around to see the owner of said keyboard standing in her doorway, leaning against one side of the door frame as she stares at me, a look of... I think mild amusement on her face. I feel myself fume at the fact she was watching me without permission, that she didn't make herself known.

"Don't be angry with me for watching." Gabriella pleads, aware of the look on my face. I bite the inside of my cheek, and turn away. "And please don't... sulk." I'm not sulking, I'm just refusing to speak to her. Not that that's a big change. I cross my arms and 'huff' a little. "That was actually... pretty damn amazing Sharpay." She says. I turn to her to study her, her right eyebrow slightly raised, the corners of her mouth tugged up a little. I frown a little, trying to figure out if she's just playing me, whether she really liked it. "Don't look so doubtful, I'm serious." She is? "Really, I loved it. I mean, I know you said you could play piano, but you never told me how good you were!" Well... she never asked. "Are there words? I mean, I know you can't sing at this exact moment..."

I shake my head. No, no words. I'm still waiting for the right ones to hit me I guess. But the feeling I get from this song is so strong that my mind goes cloudy thinking about it. Hence why there's no words.

"No, really? No words for such a beautiful melody?" She smiles brightly, and yet looks shocked to the core. This is hitting her a lot harder than it's hitting me. Should I be worried? "I wish I could write music like that. I mean, I write lyrics, but I have a problem trying to get notes sorted in my mind."

I look at her songbook for a moment, wondering what on Earth this girl could have written a song about. Her oh-so-perfect boyfriend? Lovey dovey ballads? I hope not... a good majority of those make me gag. They have to be really special not to.

I move across to the bed, doing my best to ignore the look she's giving me, once again like she's trying to figure me out. Like I'm some kind of puzzle that just won't fit together. I pick up my pencil and rip off the first page of my notepad, screwing up the picture and tossing it at her trash can. I can still feel her watching me as I start writing down the important facts out of the Sex Education leaflet that our local council was meant to spread around the community. We had to hunt around for this one, finally finding it at the hospital. But surely if you're in hospital because of the consequences of sex then it's a bit late to be handed a leaflet, right?

We do our session, having discovered quite a bit about sex I didn't know, and which I think may have put me off for life.

Her mom calls her, and Gabriella rolls her eyes jokingly, and smile on her face.

I kind of love how much she loves her mom. She pops her head out, and comes in a second later. "She wants me to help finish up dinner. I'll call you when it's ready." I nod, and she runs off, laughter in her voice when she talks to her mom.

I start to copy down notes again, and stop, biting my lip as I stare at her song book. It's like it's calling me, and I can't seem to stop myself as I pick it up, flipping through it. My eyes settle on a page titled _Rinse_ and I read the lyrics, my heart pounding.

"_She must rinse this all away  
She can't hold him this way  
She must rinse this all away  
She can't love him this way_..."

My head places a tune to them, and I quickly start to scrawl them down, knowing that with some tweaking on my part at least this could work. Really work.

"Sharpay!" She calls me, and I quickly finish scrawling down the last few words, folding the paper into my pocket as I head down to dinner, my head swimming with ideas.


	4. Hurting

**A/N: SORRY! I didn't mean to leave this story so long but I just had no inspiration for like… forever. But now I have some, so… I'm sorry if anyone had to read the last 3 chapters again to remind themselves of the story. Hope it's okay. =)**

x-x-x-x-x-x

It's Monday. There's two weeks to go until I can speak again, but it doesn't stop me from wanting what I can't have.

I hold my breath as I stand stock still, just around the corner from what was usually my entire focus during most of term time. I guess it still is, in a way. I mean, I was here, wasn't I? I glance around me first of all, checking I'm alone, even though I know I am, before peeking around the corner.

The auditorium looks... grand, and inviting. And the stage sets are all out, half finished and taking form. There's a variety of scenes; a sunset, a woodland at night, a lake, a small, dank looking room- I assume from the stairs being put into the trap door that it's an attic or upstairs room of some kind- and a balcony. Ah. Must be a love story of some kind. Usually if there's a balcony, there's a couple who can't be together, am I right?

I let out my breath in a sigh, my heart aching a little. It's what I love to do, sing, act, dance. But not for a while it seems.

I feel a hand on my shoulder and only just manage to stop myself from screaming as I twist suddenly.

"Hey Sharpay." Troy grins at me, and I roll my eyes and try to walk away. "So about dinner. Are you free tonight?" I shake my head and his face falls a little, his frown contemplative. "Why not?"

I raise one eyebrow, giving him a look. How does he expect me to explain? Charades? I go to move away from the wall, but he grabs my arm. It doesn't hurt, but I feel distinctly... uncomfortable. I feel my back press against the wall again, and my eyes turn to meet his. He's almost pouting, reminding me of a dog that's been kicked.

An outright 'no' would be the right thing to do, but it seems harsh. Right now he seems a little like the old Troy. How do you say 'I'll think about it' in mute?

I shrug, looking down again. But then I find my excuse- one that I don't have to act out.

'Gabriella' I mouth, and he looks shocked that I would care.

"Oh, I didn't think..." He starts, but stops himself. Didn't think what? That I would care about him using me as the other woman? That it wouldn't bother me to break him and Gabriella off? Or that I wouldn't care about hurting Gabby like that?

Says she who thumbed through the song book that was labelled 'private' last week. I still feel like a bit of a jerk.

"Look, me and Gab, we're not as close as we were. We're not moving at the same pace-" My hand shoots up to cut him off, palm flat in a stop motion. I can't listen to this. I shrug him off of my arm with a little difficulty, and walk away. "Tomorrow night then?"

As I get around the corner I see Kelsi, who looks a little confused. "Was that Troy?" She asks, meaning the voice. I don't give her a response, but keep walking, heading for the cafeteria as the lunch bell rings.

Troy and Gabriella not moving at the same pace? In what way? Relationship wise… because that's just…

My neck twinges, and I feel it gently through the scarf. I wish people would stop making me jump. It's really not doing my stitches any good.

The cafeteria is pretty busy, and I step in line to get my lunch, picking up my tray- it drops with a loud clutter as I'm shoved from behind, and I turn, anger on my face. Chad's standing there, looking up at the ceiling like it's about to burst into song. I pick up my tray as he tries to stifle the laugh he's holding in. He looks down at me, his face full of mock pity.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Sharpay. I guess I didn't notice you were there." His voice is so... patronising, and my fingers clench tighter around my lunch tray as I move forward to catch up with the queue, turning away from him and his friend.

"Maybe it's because she's so quiet..." His friend mutters, and Chad's laughter suddenly bursts out.

"Makes a huge difference, doesn't it?" Chad's voice seems to sneer, but I don't turn around.

Oh God. I want to scream- to shout at him so loud his grandchildren will be deaf for life! I close my eyes, breathing as deeply as I can.

This has been a pretty crappy day so far, and it's only lunch. Maybe it wouldn't have stunk so much if some of my morning classes were with Gabriella.

I get my lunch, and look around the lunch room for somewhere to sit. Taylor and Troy have joined Kelsi and Ryan at their table- so that's not somewhere I want to be right now. Though I do notice that someone is... once again missing from Troy's side. My eyes scan the room, and ah, there she is. Gabby. She's alone. No Taylor, none of their science friends, or mathematicians. She's picking at her food, looking grim.

I move towards her, taking the seat to her right, and she glances up, smiling softly at me.

"Hey." She whispers, her voice hoarse. I think she's been crying. I wave my hand slightly, and turn to face her fully. I can't help but frown as she looks down again, and reach out, touching her chin to lift it slightly.

She tries to smile again, but this time it's watery, and her face screws up a little for a second as she tries to stop the tears from coming. I grab my drink bottle and chocolate bar, and her bottle of water and stuff them in my bag, before standing up, ready to leave. Her face shows her confusion, and I reach out my hand, tilting my head to the door.

Gabriella stares at my hand for a moment, before lacing her fingers through my own, and picking up her bag.

I lead her to the bathroom on the other side of the school, empty because it lacks closeness to the cafeteria. She sits up on the sinks, and I grab some toilet roll, ready for her to use.

Satisfied I have everything I need I stand in front of her, noticing I'm just under her eye level.

"I..." She starts, and stops. I'm not too sure what to do with her- she's delicate. I place my hand on hers gently, letting her know I'm there. Gabriella looks up, and I feel a part of me… I'm not sure what it is, but its like a part of me has shattered- it's unfamiliar and so I ignore it as much as I can. Her eyes shine with tears, and she wipes her face with the back of her palm as one slips down her cheek. "Troy dumped me."

Oh.

Oh no… he didn't…

"He said there… that there was someone else and that we just weren't working anymore." Her voice breaks as the tears start to fall freely. I can hardly believe she's wasting tears over this jerk. "I…" She gasps for air, the sobs making it hard for her to breathe. I look around, and no one seems to be thinking about interrupting anytime soon.

She leans into me as I lift myself onto the sink next to her, and I can't help but stiffen, feeling distinctly uncomfortable. But I want to help.

"I know we've had problems…" The words stumble out of her mouth, and I turn my head towards her, her hair brushing my face. "I mean, he's been distant lately. But it's not like I tried too hard to make it… work." She trails off, her voice quiet. The only sound is her crying, shaking softly against my shoulder. We sit like this till the bell rings, and even then she's reluctant to move, slowly lifting her head. She uses the heel of her palm to wipe her eyes once more before splashing some cold water on her face.

Gabby's quiet in Biology, but cheers up about half way through as we discuss more about the project. Well, she discusses, and I shake and nod my head appropriately.

"So, do you want to continue this tonight?" She asks, and I shake my head. I've got a doctor's appointment at six. "I could make it easier if it's a hassle to come round mine- I've been round to see Ryan before so…"

I shake my head again, and get my notepad out as her face starts to fall.

'Doctors- sorry :(' I write, and she nods.

"Oh, ok." She smiles at me, and we head off to English, a comfortable silence between us.

-x-x-x-x-x-

So the doctor has told me to be more careful while my stitches are healing, and my mother asked again about the laser surgery. He replied that it was too early to tell if that would be totally necessary. This has not put my mother in a good mood.

She paces the house, looking for things to comment on, to complain about. She's had a go at Ryan- usually her perfect little boy- about his lack of a girlfriend. He got angry and left the room, and she followed, meaning I had to listen to their shouting match for about twenty minutes. He's upstairs now, locked himself away and left me to deal with the mood she's in.

Jerk.

"What are we going to _do_ about that scar, Sharpay? It's not appropriate for someone in your position-" She's ranting. I frown. What position? "Tainting your looks. It's not like we were given a lot to work with in the first place…"

We? So this is _our_ body now?

Her eyes turn to me, sharp eyes that pierce me to the bone, and yet don't see past my looks. I know what's coming, and I close my eyes.

_Please don't do this to me mother, not today… please don't do this…_

"I've booked an appointment with an image consultant, told them your… situation. It's private so we can get you whatever _you_ want." 'You' means her. I can change whatever I want about myself- especially those bits she hates. "They'll fix _everything_."

I want to scream, to talk back, to argue, to call Ryan down, and to throw things- but I don't. I sit there, my legs curled under me on the sofa. I feel the pricking of tears in my eyes, and shake my head. I can't do this tonight. I'm not strong enough.

I stand, and walk away, ignoring her as she calls my name over the sound of the doorbell. My hand reaches into my pocket, and I open my cellphone, my fingers thumbing through my contact list. And there it stops. On_ her_ name, and I wish that I could call her. There's a click as my mother opens the door, and she calls my name once more. I sigh, and trail back towards her, my eyes widening at the sight. What is _he_ doing here?

"Hello, Mrs Evans." Troy says, straightening his smart-casual shirt. "I came to ask if Sharpay was free to go to dinner."

I freeze. It's eight o'clock, so we haven't eaten- and I know my mother.

Before I can grab her attention, tell her this isn't happening, she's already speaking for me.

"Oh Sharpay would _love_ to go, wouldn't you Sharpay?"

What? How does that even give me a choice? How do I tell her that no, I don't want to, with him standing right there?

"Great." Troy grins, finally turning to me.

I don't look suitable for company, in nothing but a small silk nighty that barely reaches my thighs and a thin, matching silky nightgown over the top. I shake my head, one of my hands closing around the two halves of the dressing gown in an effort to keep them together.

"I'll go find something for you to wear." My mother says, disappearing, and I bite my lip, embarrassed and annoyed. And angry. I'd expressed a big no about tonight for sure.

It's awkward in the hallway. I try to avoid eye contact, and shudder when I feel him checking me out, turning to give him a glare as I lean my back against the wall. He looks away quickly, acting innocent.

"You know, I'm really glad you let me see you tonight." He says, a whole load of cheer in his voice, and I roll my eyes in annoyance. "So, uh…" He moves towards me, and I freeze, once again between a rock and a hard place as the wall I was leaning against becomes my prison. "Whilst your mom's upstairs…" He leans towards me, a cocky look on his face, and I can't help but stare, still frozen. He wouldn't… he won't…

"Oh my God…" I hear the voice just before his lips reach mine, and I turn my head, his mouth brushing my cheek.

Of course, that's exactly what I needed… exactly what this night was missing. Never mind my mom, or the date I was having forced upon me, the kiss that was about to happen without my permission…

Gabriella's eyes widen, flicking between Troy and I, and her mouth opens a little. Her eyes show shock, and betrayal. "You… and…" I frown, knowing this doesn't look good- me in hardly anything with him in my hallway, coming that close to a kiss… Shit. And I'd told her I couldn't see her tonight. "Oh my God!" She turns away in disgust, taking long, fast strides.

"What?" Troy shouts behind her, as if he's confused, and I shake my head at him in disbelief before running after Gabby.

I want to shout wait, and almost do before it dies on my lips, my fear getting to me. Instead I just carry on running until I catch up with her, and step in front of her. I shiver a little- my breath white in the night air.

"What do you want?" Her voice is heartbreaking. Full of hurt. Betrayal. She tries to sidestep me, but I mirror her, and she sighs loudly. "Kelsi warned me. Said she'd heard you two talking… or him talking. I thought I would give you a chance! Ask what happened and… is that what everything was about? Why you tolerated me? Because you'd finally 'won' Troy?"

I shake my head, and mirror her again as she tries to dodge around my other side.

"Then what, Sharpay? Because I am having a really, really hard time understanding?"

How can I explain? I throw up my arms in dismay, my nails scraping my scalp as I run my hands through my hair. She shakes her head, frustrated- but no where near as frustrated as I am. The tears sting my eyes again, threatening to really fall this time. I've held strong this whole time, not shed a single tear… but this is it. I've had enough. I've really had enough.

I walk away from her, and I hear her let out a huff of anger or frustration, her high heeled footsteps echoing in the courtyard, my heart wrenching as I try to convince myself not to look back.

It's not until I can no longer hear her footsteps that I turn around, my breaths shaky as I wrap my arms around myself. I feel like I'm about to fall apart. She's gone, and that hurts more than walking away from her, the fact she left. Without hearing my side of the story.

Fair enough, I can't speak to tell it to her without a pen and paper handy or charades, and lets face it I'm in no mood to start playing the miming game right now. But does that give her a right to assume things? To not try and understand me?

In fact that's all anybody seems to be doing lately. Sue me for thinking that maybe she was different… that she cared what I had to say, or at least intended to say.

I head back to the house, and up to my room, kicking the door behind me as I start to take off the dressing gown, sliding it down my shoulders.

I freeze- not for the first time that night as I realise I'm not alone. Within the next instant he's got his hands on me, roaming in places I don't want him to be, his lips on mine in a sloppy kiss.

It's rushed, hormonal, and I can tell he doesn't care whether I'm responding or not. I wonder if he's even realised as I tense my arms, trying to push him off of me. Nothing. He doesn't even notice, and my throat screams in pain as his rough hand grabs underneath my chin, pulling my face closer to his until our teeth clash. I fall back a little, knocking the lamp off of my dresser, one of his hands on the small of my back, pulling me close.

I can't help but let out a small squeal of protest, my throat trying not to let it pass. It's unsuccessful and Troy doesn't seem to notice, holding me tighter.

"What are you…?"

I twist in Troy's arms as best as I can as he loosens his grip a little, the sound of the door opening and my brother's voice snapping him out of wherever his brain was. He lets go of me, and I fall to the floor, suddenly unsupported.

Ryan's face contorts into one of fury, and he grabs Troy, dragging him out of my room. I hear them thudding down the stairs as I lay on the floor, too stunned to move. Their voices carry, Ryan's louder, more furious than I've ever heard him before. I think I can forgive him for leaving me with mom tonight.

I hear the front door slam, and the sound of footsteps starting back up the stairs. I know it's Ryan, but my heart is pounding in my ears, and I can hardly breath.

"Are you okay?" His voice softens as he steps back into my room, but I keep my head low, unable to give him any form of a reply except for the tears, still only on the verge of falling. If I look up at him I'll break, I know it. "Sharpay…" He lifts my chin, trying to get me to look at him. My head lifts, but I still avert my gaze. "Sharpay." His voice suddenly sounds a lot more serious, worried, and I look at him. He retracts his hand away from me like he just burnt himself, and I frown, seeing a flash of red on his fingertips. "Sharpay, your neck…"

I turn to the full length mirror, my eyes fixing on the dark, reddish colour spreading through my once hot pink scarf.

My blood runs cold, and I hear Ryan as he hands me some kind of material, telling me to keep the pressure on as he helps me to my suddenly unsteady feet, leading me downstairs to his car. He shouts something to mom, who seems to have emerged from her bedroom, but I can't focus on the words, my mind focusing on things that seem so much more important.

I wish I could speak as I'm bundled into the car, wish I could tell Gabriella how much I didn't mean to hurt her. I wish I could explain that it wasn't what she thought, that I would never go anywhere near Troy in the romantic sense.

I wish I could tell her about tonight, and I wish I could tell her about my mom, about how she upset me- although that seems like one of the less important events of the day.

I wish I could tell her what her kindness has meant to me over the last few days, and that I don't want to give that up.

But I can't. I'm silent, and on my way to the ER, wondering what the point is anymore. It's almost worth damaging my voice permanently to just tell her everything.

I'm still just as silent as the first of many tears falls, slipping down my cheek with a grace that I don't feel I deserve right now.

I take in a hitched breath in an effort to stop a loud sob escaping my throat, and receive a glance of pain instead of what that sob could have done to me. I hiss a little, the air escaping through my clenched teeth, and Ryan reaches over, touching my shoulder gently.

"It's okay, Sharpay. We're almost there."

-x-x-x-x-x-


	5. Stay Strong

A/N: Wow, I'm so glad people were happy to pick this story up again. And hopefully it'll NEVER be that long between chapters again. Argh, I'm such a bad girl. A warning… if you don't know the song Existentialism on Prom Night, by Straylight Run then… I suggest you look it up to fully understand what I want to get across in this chapter. If you do know it then ignore the lyrics… focus on the piano in the background. There's a great instrumental of it on Youtube somewhere, just a guy and his piano. XD Enjoy. Sorry this ones a little short.

-x-x-x-x-x-

It was about half way through third period that I finally got to school. The hospital made me rest up for a few hours before I could leave, checked the stitches over one last time and sent me off with a warning to be more careful with how I turned my neck.

And told me not to wear the scarf. The wound had to be allowed space to breathe, to heal… to embarrass me.

I head to the bathroom, checking myself over in the mirror before I go to class. I flinch at the sight of myself.

The wound looks worse than ever, a mixture of a sore red and a dark bruising colour. I run my thumb over it, a hiss of air escaping my lips as I do. It's then that I notice more bruising, toward the back of the right hand side of my neck, and I move my ponytail aside to get a better look. At least three fingers are clearly marked, and I close my eyes, trying not to think about it.

I pull the hair tie out of my ponytail, letting my hair fall loosely over my right shoulder. I look tired, the shadows under my eyes scream exhaustion.

I sigh, splashing some cold water on my face and reapplying my make-up. I take one last look at myself, almost too scared to walk out of the door. It takes just about all of my courage to actually go to class instead of skipping for the day.

-x-x-x-x-x-

The first thing I feel as I walk into my classroom is their eyes on me, all of them, including the teacher's. I look down at the floor nervously, and hand Mrs Riley my late slip which she gives a strange look.

She looks up at me, and her lip curls back a little in what I think is disgust… God. Maybe my mother was right. Maybe I do need to talk to that surgeon.

As I walk towards my desk I can feel the stares on my back, aware of a few scowls and dirty looks out of the corner of my eyes. I wonder what they're thinking? I know what they're staring at, and it burns on my neck as I adjust my hair, trying to cover it but not expose the… other bruising.

I notice Gabby's not in the seat next to me. She's now way towards the back, next to Taylor. Troy on the other hand has placed himself right next to me, and my stomach churns at the thought of him being so close.

I'm stiff as I sit in the chair, my back straight, aware of everything about me. Some people are whispering as Mrs Riley starts telling us to put on our earphones and practice the keyboard in front of us, or work on another project.

I look around the room, blushing as I realise about half the class is still staring at me. My eyes flick to Troy, who looks cocky. I repress a shudder, trying not to think about why. Maybe he feels like he's won, because no one else will ever like a girl like me. I sigh to myself, turning in my chair to glance at Gabriella.

She seems to be purposely _not_ looking at me, her eyes occasionally heading my way then skipping over me.

Embarrassed for me? Or just still too mad at me to care?

I turn back around in my chair, plugging the headphones underneath my desk into the keyboard that pulls out like a drawer. I switch it on, trying to forget the looks as I put on the earmuff like headphones, the sounds of the classroom fading away.

My fingers brush the keys, and I breathe in, closing my eyes as I wait for the right song to come to me. It's not mine. It's the background music to Existentialism on Prom Night, by Straylight Run. My fingers move with a grace I almost forgot I had. I seem to be able to lose myself in the music- I love this track. I'm not always so keen to hear the lyrics, sometimes I just can't bring myself to listen to the actual song. To me it feels as though the lyrics are coming from a totally different place than the music. I breathe deeply, feeling the cool air reach my lungs as my fingers find their own way over the keys. This song the introduction in particular- just feels like the sun rising, which is exactly what I need right now. Metaphorically speaking.

I feel like it's just me for a moment, that in all of time and space I'm alone, just me and this music- every note has something to say. A word, an emotion, a melody, a metaphor in the making. I sigh as I finish the song, sliding the earphones so that they're sitting around my neck, and lean back in my chair. I realise without looking up from the keyboard that some people are still watching me, and when I do look up I meet my teacher's eyes. She looks almost disappointed in me, and the feeling eats away at my chest. Is it that bad? Am I that bad? Was it superficial or wrong of me to try and save my singing voice this way?

My head tries to wrap itself around the stares, the whispers, but I can't think to do anything about it, but raise my hand self consciously to my throat. I catch it a little by accident and hold back another hiss, closing my eyes in pain.

"You alright, Sharpay?" Troy asks from beside me, and I look up at him, nodding. It takes all my strength not to glare at him… or possibly slap him, but I restrain myself. "Good, because…" I don't get to hear the rest of what he might have said because he places his hand on my shoulder, causing my body to jerk away from him like I've been shocked. It takes me a moment to realise how I've reacted, in front of a group of people that will never understand. "Just feeling a bit jumpy today, hey?" I stare at him for a long moment, trying to get what he's playing at. When I can't figure it out I nod once more before pushing in my keyboard, and taking off my headphones.

This time when he reaches out I don't jump away, just bite my lip, and shrug him off as gently as I can. I shake a little, feeling unnerved as I lay my head on my arms, leaning heavily on my desk. He starts talking to me about things I don't hear, and I close my eyes tightly, waiting for the bell to ring.

-x-x-x-x-x-

Biology. Great, just what I need right now, an hour trapped in a pair with Gabriella, who's going to sit there in a stony silence.

She won't talk to me, I can't talk to her… should be fun…

I suppose it could be worse though. Troy could be in this class.

I walk into the classroom, and stop in the doorway. I receive the same looks and whispers as the last class, and try to adjust my hair, my self-image getting the better of me.

My head stays down as I walk to mine and Gabriella's desk, where she sits, staring hard at her notebook as she jots things down. I sit, and she doesn't even blink. She certainly doesn't look up. I take out my own notebook, and tap my pen against my hand. What do I do? I don't know what I can do to help on the project, and I don't know the right way to explain last night.

I glance at her, and I'm surprised to see her staring at me, a hard look in her eyes. I sit there, not knowing what I should do, what face to make. I'm confused, so that one sticks whilst I try and figure out a better one.

"Don't look at me like that." Her voice is cold, bitter, and I physically flinch as she looks away from me again.

I open my notepad, and write one word. 'How?'

She doesn't look up, doesn't read it, and so I underline it, and push it towards her.

"Like you don't know what you did wrong."

I take a moment, trying to figure out what to say.

'I know what you think you saw, but if you give me a chance to explain I can.'

Gabriella shakes her head at my notebook, and my heart falls a little.

"I know what I saw. I also know what Kelsi heard, and what everyone else in the school knows." She's still staring at my notebook, I think avoiding looking at me. I hate this low voice she's using. It sounds hurt, angry and disappointed all in one. I think I'd rather just be shouted at.

My forehead creases in even more confusion, and I look at her, asking her to explain.

"Oh come on, Sharpay!" Her voice raises a little, and I notice the discussions around us quieten down a little, either listening in or shocked at hearing Gabriella talk to me this way. "You can't even try and deny it! He already told everyone." I'm still confused, but things seem to be fitting together, and she shakes her head, her face twisted in a sneering disbelief. "God, Sharpay, I know you slept with him! And it's not like the hickey on your neck helps your case any-"

She makes a move to sweep my hair back, show the whole school this… hickey she thinks I have, but I stumble off of the stool, my hand trapping my hair tightly against my skin.

She can't see that. I won't let her or anybody else see that.

Gabriella sighs, like I just confirmed everything she thought of me in that one move, shaking her head once more and staring blankly at her notepad.

Everything sinks in at once, and I look around the room, my eyes stinging as even the teacher avoids my gaze. Well, that explains a hell of a lot.

I pick up my bag, picking my notebook up off the table. To hell with this! I was hoping to have the chance to explain, to tell my side of the story.

But he spoke first and I don't have a way to fight back. How can I? His voice is much louder than mine right now.

Why has no one asked me my opinion on this?

"I hope you're not thinking of leaving my class, Miss Evans." The teacher says, and I don't look up at him until my notebook is in my bag. I take in a deep breath, trying to delay the tears I know are going to come, and I sense Ryan staring at me intently. I'd almost forgotten he was in this class.

I'm both thankful and angry at him for being here. Angry he didn't speak up, defend me. Relieved he didn't speak up, tell the truth.

I stare at the teacher for a long moment, and he stares back, almost daring me to make my next move.

I give in. I can't fight him, I can't fight the whispers, the stares. I just can't do it. And so I sit, my head spinning as I pull out my biology book. The chatter eventually starts up again, reaching a somewhat normal level, and I stare at the cover of my book, running my fingers down it's taped up spine. I sniff quietly to myself, hoping no one notices the tear that escapes my defences.

"Hey." It's Ryan's voice, but I don't look up. I don't want to risk seeing the expression on his face. "I didn't really know what to say… to help out." I keep staring, tapping my pen against the desk to give me something else to focus on. "At least you know the truth." He says, like he's found a silver lining. How does he think that makes things any better? The _problem_ is that I know what happened, and it's nothing like Troy's version. The other problem is that I can't defend the issue myself.

I fold my arms on the desk in front of me and attempt to bury my head in them.

Ryan doesn't seem to get the hint.

"Do you want me to talk to Gabby for you?"

I frown, and shake my head. How could he ask me that? She's sitting right next to me…

I know she's listening. Her writing's slowed to a crawl, meaning she isn't concentrating on it.

"But I could tell her-"

I raise my hand, stopping him mid-sentence. How dare he talk about her like she isn't even in the room!

I shake my head to myself, and take a quick glance towards him as he goes back to his desk, back to Kelsi, who is staring at me long and hard. She thinks I hurt Gabby.

Fair enough, I kind of did. But I didn't mean to.

I just wish she knew that.

I look at the clock. Almost lunch. I start to pack my things away slowly, waiting for the bell. As soon as it rings I stand up, ready to grab some food and find a quiet place to eat.

"Sharpay…" I twist, surprised at the sound of her voice. She's not really looking at me, but at something beneath my eye level. She looks so lost, like she doesn't know what to do with herself. People carry on filing out of the classroom until it's just me, Gabriella, Ryan, Kelsi and the teacher in the room, and I wait for her. I wait for her to say something, but she doesn't. She can't even look at me. So I turn, my breath shaky as I reach the door. I leave the room, walking fast as my eyes start to brim with tears.

_Not here, not here…_

More eyes fall on me, some concerned, some curious, most smirking knowingly. I walk faster, my pace quickening until I break into a run.

Almost as soon as I slide the lock in the cubicle door the tears are spilling down my cheeks.

God. Sometimes life just sucks, doesn't it?

-x-x-x-x-x-


	6. Spiral

_**A/N: Wow... I'm glad people want me to continue this, and I hope this chapter makes you jump through a few emotions. It's the best I can get this chapter I think, so... enjoy.**_

_**And I'd like to thank Live2rite. She's been a lot of help with this chapter especially, helping me get it ready, checking it over for me. For someone that doesn't read GabPay she's surprisingly supportive.**_

_**Enjoy!**_

-x-x-x-x-x-

It's a good half an hour before I finally emerge from the cubicle, finally feeling strong enough to walk over to the main mirrors. I sigh as I stare at myself- thankful that, once again, I'm in the bathroom furthest from the cafeteria. I shrug my bag off of my shoulders, and start hunting for my makeup purse. Ah, here.

I take out my makeup wipes, and start clearing up my mascara. I lean over the sink a little, using the corner of the wipe to clean just underneath my eyes.

When I'm satisfied I sit up on the sinks and take out my compact mirror and my mascara, watching my hand carefully as I reapply it.

I start to think about what Ryan said, about telling Gabriella. I want to, I do. But _I_ want to tell her. Not have him chasing after her for me.

I decide I'll have to find a way, even if it means having to write it down or something. Though I guess I'll have to find out it she'll ever talk to me again first.

"Oh God." I hear her mumble the words at the same time I become aware she's walked through the door. I'm surprised, looking up for just for a moment to make sure I'm not wrong.

She looks like she doesn't want me here, like she was after some alone time too. Her shoulders droop as she thinks to herself.

I raise my mirror a little so I can watch her whilst 'looking' at my mirror. Gabriella stands awkwardly at the door, like she's considering whether she should leave, but turns back, her dark eyes fixing on me. She walks closer to the mirror, and starts to rearrange her hair a bit. It looks fine, so I think it's just something to do. What I can't figure out is why she's here. There's plenty of toilets around.

"I shouldn't have bought that up in front of the whole class." She seems to blurt. Her voice is strained, like she's trying to stay calm. I wonder how long that will last. "But I'm just… so angry, you know! I was nice to you when a lot of people wouldn't have been. I'm a good person, and I just don't get what I… did to you that could have made you hate me so much." Her voice cracks, and I look up at her.

Hate her? I shake my head a little, giving up the façade of still putting on mascara (I was done about a minute ago) to look at her properly. Sure, just last week really she annoyed the hell out of me but I've never hated her.

"It was bad enough that I saw you with him, you know? Bad enough that you slept with him just once. But the worst thing is how you were doing it before we'd even- when we were _supposed_ to still be together."

When they were- oh no, no way is anyone putting that one on me. My mouth hangs open a little, in a mixture of disgust and shock. I shake my head at her, and she looks at me, a little hurt. She thinks I'm just denying it. Of course, what else is new?

"Oh, come on Sharpay! Troy already _told_ everyone!"

I grab her arm and shake my head, with more emphasis this time.

"You're saying he's lying?" I nod, glad that she seems to be listening to me- or paying attention at least. "But why would he do that? He- he told me…" I soften my touch on her arm, sliding off of the counter so I can face her properly. She looks into my eyes, deeply confused about why anyone would lie to her. "I asked him about it, if it was true you two had been seeing each other, and he said that he'd wanted to end things with me. To break it off- but that you didn't want to, because you liked seeing me get hurt."

I give her a look, trying to ask her if she really believed that about me.

"Of course he was lying." She says it like it was the most obvious thing in the world, and grits her teeth, letting out a little yell of rage. "I bet he just wanted me to be more angry at you than I was at him! Oh that- that…"

Is innocent little Gabby really going to swear? I hope so, she seems angry enough.

"Jerk!"

Jerk? _Jerk_! That's really all she's got?

"So it was just last night? After we'd broken up?"

How am I meant to answer that? If I shake my head it means 'no, it wasn't _just_ last night' but if I nod then I'm admitting to last night. How do I win this one?

I make a stopping motion with both of my hands, throwing them up, closing my eyes as I try to think of a way to get through to her.

I open them, and run a hand through my hair, leaning back against the sinks.

"You know, that looks sore." Gabriella says, changing the subject I guess. I look at her, unsure of how to react. "Your neck I mean."

I nod, because it is, and she turns to face me fully for the first time since walking in. "Can I…?" She stops, her hand reaching up to my neck. I flinch before she reaches it, hoping my face shows that I have no idea what she's doing. "I'll be gentle, I promise." This time I stay still as her hand rests on the top of my collar bone, brushing the skin as she moves a little further up. She stops just before she reaches the bruising, her eyes flicking once to mine before she goes back to studying it. Gabby's thumb brushes it a little, the tiniest touch making my eyes close in pain. "Oh, I'm sorry!" Her voice gets a little higher. "I really am, it just looks like it's been opened… recently. The bruising around the outside is pretty consistent with a fresh wound. And the stitches don't look as settled as I remember them."

I turn my head away, but my eyes are drawn back to her face, at the look she has on it. "Has it? Been opened I mean?"

I give her small nod, and the look on her face deepens a little, more concerned. "How? I mean, I know you can't tell me. Sorry. Stupid question." She's silent for a little longer, her eyes once again flicking to mine. "But I am sorry." Her voice is almost a whisper, as she inspects my neck. "Not just for that, but for going off at you earlier. I didn't mean to… it wasn't meant to come out like that. I was just angry, and I felt betrayed. I never meant to-" Her fingers brush the back of my neck through my hair and I hiss. "Hurt you." Her tone's changed, and she's frowning, trying to put the pieces together. She's thinking of what she caught a tiny glimpse of earlier. Of the thing she'd called a hickey. She moves quickly, brushing my hair back even as I try to stop her from doing it. By the time my fingers are closed around her hand she's already seen it. She looks confused, her hand not moving away from holding my hair back even when I try and tug it down.

Gabriella's eyes flash in anger, and I blush, embarrassed and squeeze her hand a little.

"Shar…" The anger resonates under her concerned tone. She traces the bruise, gently enough that it doesn't really hurt. I don't know what to do, so I just stay still, letting her cool fingers grace the back of my neck. "Who did this to you?"

I keep looking at her, unsure of how she wants me to reply. Her voice is getting louder, angrier, and yet weaker. It's shaking a little, like she doesn't know what to do with herself.

"God, I've been worrying about how I feel when someone's attacked you! Sharpay I feel terrible… I didn't see it properly, I thought it was a love bite but-"

Her eyes fall back on the wound at the front of my neck, and she closes her eyes like she's in pain, taking a step away from me.

"He did this to you, didn't he?" Her eyes open, and her voice is slow, unsteady. I'm not sure if she's going to scream or cry, or somehow take it differently from how it really happened again.

She stares at me with an intensity I've never seen from her before. Her eyes are dark, and deep. A person could easily lose themselves in them if they weren't careful.

I close my eyes, ashamed to admit that Troy had done this. That he'd ever had that kind of power over me.

"Oh my God, he did! He does this to you and then has the _nerve_ to start spreading a bunch of bullshit rumours around the school? Last night… oh God, last night. What really happened?"

I motion a hand at the wound on my neck, and shrug.

"I just assumed that… I mean I left him at yours. And you were in that nighty. Jesus. This is really the last thing that would have occurred to me."

She steps close to me, placing a hand on the side of my cheek and guiding me into a gentle hug.

I sniff against her, aware that I've started crying again as she holds me to her. I feel her lips rest on my temple in a lingering kiss, and I actually feel a little better.

I suppose it helps that I seem to have back the best friend I've ever had.

I never realised, you know? How it would feel if she stopped talking to me, or if she hated me.

I wrap one arm around her waist, the other higher to make sure her whole body stays close to mine.

-x-x-x-x-x-

We walk to next period together, English, and Ryan bumps into us on the way. Kelsi is with him, and she stares at me, her eyes showing her fury. For such a small person she's actually quite scary. Let me tell you now, I am _never_ going to try and boss her around again.

"Gabriella can I talk to you?" Her voice is strained, and Gabby drops back a little, walking a few paces behind Ryan and I.

"So, did you tell her?" Ryan asks, and I waver my hand from side to side, trying to get 'almost' across. "I suppose a lot of it must have been guesswork on her part." He smiles at me, putting a hand on my shoulder. "But well done for being strong."

As we near the classroom I catch the last bit of Kelsi and Gabriella's conversation.

"Look, just trust me Kelsi, I know she didn't do it."

"But Troy said-"

"I know what Troy said. He also used to say he loved me."

Kelsi seems to fall silent as we walk into the classroom. For a moment I think it's empty, but then movement catches my eye towards the back of the room. Troy folds his arms, leaning back as he watches us. Gabriella tenses, and for a moment I think she's going to say something. Until the teacher walks in, closely followed by a couple of other students.

I touch her hand, and she looks at me, giving me a small smile as we take our seats.

-x-x-x-x-x-

English is… long and boring. Miss Christie is interesting enough, she tries to engage people in the topic, but this topic lost my interest a few moments into the class. Gabby's writing lots of notes though. Maybe if I try to look cute and appealing she'll let me copy them later.

My attention dwindles, and I start to decorate my page with things I like. Lyrics from a couple of songs, stars, hearts, swirly lines, eyes. Just one pair, and they're dark, the corners turned up in a smile, staring straight out of the page.

I look to my right, and notice the same pair of eyes staring back at me, her lips curled to match her eyes.

She chucks a note onto my desk, and I open it as discreetly as I can.

_Doodling again? __xx_

I smile, and write my reply.

_What else could I possibly do to pass the time? __xx_

I chuck it back, and she reads it, then looks up at me in a silent laugh. 'Work!' She mouths, pointing at her notepad.

I smile at her, rolling my eyes, and look towards the front of the classroom.

"Now, the next piece of post-war literature we'll be doing is a Joan Littlewood play. '_Oh! What a Lovely War'_ was widely criticised for its use of humour to portray certain aspects of the war when, in reality it uses it to highlight them. One thing this play never does is joke about the deaths the World Wars caused…"

I take a few notes, a little interested.

Class ends pretty quickly after that. We don't even get two pages into the play, but it does seem worth reading.

I write a quick note as we stand to leave the classroom, tearing it out of my notepad before I put my things away. I hand it to Gabby and she reads it, then walks up to Miss Christie, a bemused look on her face.

"Miss Christie," She starts, glancing back at me. "Sharpay was wondering if she can take a copy of the play home?"

"Home?" Miss Christie looks at me, having a hard time believing that me- of all people- would take this book seriously. She blinks, recovering. "We'll be reading it in class, but if you want to get better acquainted with it that's fine with me."

"Thank you." Gabriella says for me as the teacher hands me a book, and I smile gratefully, mouthing the same words.

I walk out first, Gabriella still talking to the teacher. I walk a few paces down the rapidly emptying hall, and wait, picking at my nails.

"Sharpay, hey." Troy calls, pushing off of the wall a few feet away from me. "I was kinda hoping to catch a moment with you."

I take a step back towards the classroom, my eyes staying on him. He takes two steps towards me, and I take another back, walking straight into Gabriella as she walks out of the classroom.

"Oh, Shar, I'm sorry!" She starts, then looks up, her eyes instantly narrowing. "Is he bothering you?"

"Bothering her?" Troy laughs, not giving me time to react. "We were just about to have a little talk."

"Oh you've got some nerve. Just leave her alone."

"What's the matter Gabs? Jealous that she happens to move faster than you do?" He sneers. I clench my fists tightly as he walks closer, and Gabriella takes a step forward to meet him before he can get to me. "A _lot_ faster."

She's fuming now, I can see her shaking a little.

"You seemed shocked. Surprised you didn't see it coming. Even after she spent most of a year trying to steal your boyfriend. She'll always be a backstabbing little slut and you know-"

It happens before I've even registered what he's said. The slap is so loud it bounces off of the walls, resonating down the hall.

Troy's face is turned away, and he stumbles backwards, in shock as well as pain.

Her body tenses, and I think for a moment she's gonna tackle him or something. I move as quickly as I can, taking her by the arms and pulling her back with me.

"What did you do that for? You crazy bitch!" He shouts, and I hear a few giggles come from down the hallway. It looks like this might be the next thing to spread around the school.

"What did I – what do you _think_ I did it for you, jerk!" I have to tighten my grip a little as she pulls to move towards him again. "How about the next time you crave attention you don't spread rumours about my friends?"

'Friends'? Did she just called me her friend? I think it's the first time I've heard her say that. I can't help but smile a little, proud of the way she's standing up to him.

"For that matter don't even think about being anywhere _close_ to Sharpay again, or I will make you regret it." She falters for a second. "Or at least get someone else to make you regret it for us." I smile once more at her use of the word 'us'. It makes me a little giddy to think about it. I've never been part of an 'us' before, more of a 'me'. The smile sticks as I watch her- the situation doesn't really call for it, but I find it hard not to. "You're pathetic." She shakes her head at him. "And not worth wasting any more time over." She takes my hand tightly in hers, and leads me away from him. "Come on, Sharpay. We're gonna be late for Art class."

We walk away, her fingers still laced in mine, and she grins at me. "So, are we on for a study session tonight?" I nod, and – if possible- her smile gets bigger. "Oh, but I should warn you; it'll be noisy at mine till about half-six. My mom's having our drive redone."

I point at myself, and she watches me, thinking. "Have it at yours?" She looks unsure, and I know why. I haven't invited her to do one around mine yet, and she smiles. "Sure. So, it's a date?"

I feel a little strange at her choice of words, my tummy… fuzzy. I can't really think of another word to describe it.

-x-x-x-x-x-

As soon as I get my car on the road I'm fiddling with my stereo, looking for the right kind of music for what I'm feeling.

"So do I actually get to hear what happened?" Gabby asks, sitting in the middle of the backseat behind me and Ryan. He'd offered her the passenger seat, but she'd declined. "With him I mean?" By him she means Troy, and I wave my hand at Ryan as an 'okay'.

"I don't know too much about it to be honest. Just what I saw…"

I do my best to tune him out, still fiddling with my stereo.

"Eyes on the road." Gabriella chides me softly, and I look at her in my rear view mirror. Her eyes are fixed on me, her hand resting over the back of my seat as she listens to Ryan, occasionally looking at him as he talks.

"…and when I came downstairs I saw Sharpay run out the door, leaving Troy in the hallway."

"When you were coming after me?" Gabby asks, and I nod.

"I went into the kitchen to get a snack, and when I came back in Troy had gone. I assumed he'd gone home and didn't think much of it…"

"-_Anymore, anymore  
We'll start over again  
Grow ourselves new skin  
Get a house in Devon_  
_Drink cider from a lemon (lemon, lemon, lemon...)"_

I smile, I love this song. I feel Gabby's fingers tap next to my shoulder in time to the music, meaning she likes it to, so it stays, even if Ryan hates it. Which I know he does.

I focus on the music, tapping my fingers on the steering wheel as I watch the road.

"_But I don't wanna talk about it anymore  
I think we're gonna make it  
I think we're gonna save it yeah  
So don't you try and fake it  
Anymore, anymore…_"

I'm drawn out of the song as Gabriella's voice rises.

"He what?!"

"That's what it looked like." Ryan shrugs, his voice somber and a little pained. I think it hurts him that the situation went as far as it did. Never mind that he stopped worse from happening. If it was going to. I've got my doubts that Troy would have taken things that far.

Of course there's that little voice in my mind, asking 'but what if…'. I repress a shudder and do my best to ignore it.

"I just can't believe you knew all of this and you didn't even tell me!" She's right next to me, so it makes my ears hurt a little when she yells at my brother. I reach up the hand closest to her, and feel for where it's hanging over my seat. I run my thumb across the back of it, trying to calm her down with a gentle squeeze.

"Sharpay told me not to." He stutters a little, actually looking a little scared.

I smile. It's like I have my very own knight in shining armor today.

"Oh." Her whisper is only heard because the radio falls silent for a second, the song finishing before the DJ's voice starts introducing the next one.

"_Here's the thing  
we started out friends  
it was cool but it was all pretend  
Yeah, Yeah  
since you've been gone…_"

"You didn't want me to find out?"

I shake my head as best as I can whilst focusing on my driving.

"Why not?"

I can't think of something that will show her I didn't want her to find out because… and though this feels weird (beyond weird, even) to admit…

It's because I care about her.

I take her hand, tugging it a little further forwards so I can plant a kiss there. For a moment I'm distracted from the road, from everything, the softness of her skin having an effect on me that I probably don't want to have whilst driving.

I let go of her hand, placing mine back on the steering wheel.

I glance up at my mirror, and see that ever so gentle smile on her lips, her eyes meeting my own in the mirror.

I tear my gaze away, back to the road, turning up the music. I grin as Gabby's voice joins Kelly Clarkson's leaning forward in her seat so she's almost right next to me, her hand playing with my hair.

"…_that's all you'd ever hear me say…_

_But since you've been gone_

_I can breathe for the first time!_

_I'm so moving on, yeah, yeah…_

_Thanks to you_

_Now I get what I want_

_Since you've been gone…"_

-x-x-x-x-x-

It's almost half four by the time we get home, and I'm starting to feel a bit hungry. After all, I didn't eat any lunch. I decide to make a pit stop in the kitchen before I head into my room. If I could groan then I would. My mom's in there, making up the guest lists for the next party. Whatever event it's for. I avoid eye contact as I make my way to the fridge, and half attempt to get lost inside of it. Oh, we're out of chocolate spread. Shame, I was thinking about a sandwich.

"My, my. It just gets worse and worse doesn't it."

I don't have to turn to my mother to figure out what she's talking about, but I do. Her eyes are fixed on my neck before I've even turned to her properly.

"I talked to the surgeon on your behalf-" She says, like she's been doing me a favour. "And he says the possibility of it scarring badly are even worse than they were before the… accident."

I turn back to the fridge, looking for something, anything to take my mind off of her.

"I don't see what you didn't like about Troy. He's… usually such a lovely boy."

My fingers clench around the door handle… focus. We've got… we've got…

"_And_ he still wanted to take you out when you're… like this. He's really very-"

I grab a bottle of mineral water and slam the fridge door closed, shaking my head as I walk out towards the kitchen door.

I freeze for a split second, catching the eye of Gabriella, who's standing in the hallway. By the look on her face I'd say she heard just about everything in there. At least it wasn't as bad as it could have been.

I recover as swiftly as I can, grabbing her hand and leading her up to my bedroom.

When we get through the door she looks at the expression on my face, and her eyes flash with something that I don't think is pity. Instead of asking she just smiles as she looks around my bedroom, her fingers still laced through mine.

"Wow, Shar. I never would have guessed you liked pink this much." She shrugs, trying to look clueless.

I stare at her in a bit of shock, her hand pulling from mine as she wanders into my room.

Whoa- was that sarcasm? From Gabby?

She grins at me, and sits on the edge of my bed. There's a tiny bark from out in the hallway, and I open my door wider so Boi can come in. He was probably sleeping in the laundry room again. He charges at me, jumping at my legs. If his tail was moving any faster he'd probably fly. I smile, picking him up, and he licks my face before snuggling into my shoulder like a baby.

"Aww! Is that your dog?" Gabby's face seems to melt, and I can't help but grin back at her, her smile contagious as I hand him to her. "Hello buddy! What's your name?" Her voice has regressed to baby talk, which Boi loves, giving her kisses on her hands and face. "'Boi'." She reads off of his name tag. She strokes him for a while until he gets bored and jumps off of her lap, curling up in his basket.

Gabby smiles after him, then turns her eyes to me, leaning back on her arms to support herself as she sinks slightly into my quilt.

"So, how do you wanna do this?"

Again I stare at her, raising my eyebrow.

"Are we on the bed or sitting at your desk?" She looks towards the mentioned desk. It's a mess, littered with sketches and loosely put together words and the start of something similar to music sheets.

I motion to the bed, and she nods, sliding her bag off of her shoulder.

"So… a million and one reasons not to have sex." She grins, and I smile back. "God it might put me off for life if I didn't…" Gabriella stops, her eyes meeting mine before she looks back at her paperwork. "Have the right person to share it with. At the time. Not that I've got a person… or anything."

She's rambling. It's incredibly cute on her, and I laugh, in a silent chuckle. It means she likes someone, and so I give her an inquisitive look, one eyebrow raised.

"What?" I keep staring, noticing her voice is getting higher. "What!? Don't look at me like that."

I sit next to her on the bed, my body facing hers.

"I don't like anyone, Sharpay."

Liar, and she knows it. Otherwise she wouldn't have jumped to her own defence.

"I only broke up with my boyfriend yesterday." Her voice gets a little more serious, and she looks up into my eyes. "Just give me some time, then I'll tell you. I promise, you'll be the first to know. As soon as I'm sure."

I nod, my eyes not leaving hers, a little lost in those beautiful chocolate eyes of hers.

I feel my stomach tense, swallowing nothing as my mouth runs dry and I realise what I'm doing.

And then it hits me. She breaks the eye contact, starting to read off some of the notes she's got. I fall back, heavily, onto the bed, my head spinning as I realise that I've somehow found myself falling for Gabriella Montez... hard.

How on earth- and more importantly _when_- did that happen?


	7. Tink

_**A/N: Sorry for the gap, but I found some of this chapter really difficult to word... anyways, hope you enjoy this chapter. And you'll have to excuse me if the next one isn't up so soon either. Have a lot of work piling up right now...**_

_**Anyways, enjoy!**_

-x-x-x-x-x-

"Okay, so I'll see you at school tomorrow." Gabby smiles at me, and I nod, a little eager for her to go. Of course I don't really _want _her to go. I just need some time to myself, to think about things.

Like the strange thought that popped into my head a few hours ago.

She suddenly wraps her arms around me, holding me close, with a gentle, comforting tightness. I respond, surprised. We've never hugged purely because one of us is leaving. I find myself melting a little in her arms, her conditioner making me want to take in a deep breath. I resist, letting go rather abruptly, and giving her a little wave.

"Uh, bye then." She says, a hint of confusion on her face. I shut the door as her mom's car drives off, leaning my back against it as my head spins.

What the hell is wrong with me?

I push away from the door, heading to the kitchen to grab some ice cream. I take out a tub of Ben and Jerry's, the cookie dough flavour, and decide that I can definitely manage the rest of it on my own right now. There's only half a tub left after all.

I work my way up to my room, spoon and ice cream in hand, and flop onto my bed, thinking.

Maybe I'm just going crazy. I mean it's a crazy thought right? I mean... it's Gabriella.

A month ago I probably would have rolled my eyes had she dared to say two words to me. I close my eyes. This is all moving too fast. My mind still gets giddy when I think of her as my friend.

Maybe this all comes from missing her, from the day or so of her not talking to me. It was one of the hardest things I've ever experienced. First making her so angry and upset, and then when she wouldn't even look at me...

I wipe my eyes quickly, shaking my head as I shove a spoonful of ice cream in my mouth. I shouldn't dwell on that, it's in the past now.

My skin prickles as I pick up my notebook, flipping through it. I stop, staring at the pair of eyes I've drawn there.

They're nowhere near as good as looking at the real thing and I-

Ice cream. I need to keep eating my ice cream. The mouthful I put in is a little big, and I squeeze my eyes shut as I chew it, my mouth feeling like it's going to die of hypothermia or something.

I struggle not to let out a moan, my mouth in agony as I swallow the ice cream. Okay, so that was a stupid move. I'll focus the next time I try and stuff my face. Especially with ice cream. I close my eyes, feeling a sharp stab of pain hit my head, the cold getting to me.

I shudder and push the ice cream aside. I've eaten most of it anyway. My mind drifts back to _her-_ the person I really don't want to think about right now.

Man, she's got my stomach tied up in knots. How can I just carry on like nothings changed?

Even though it hasn't, because all that's really changed is that I've let myself get carried away. Yeah, that's it. I've been so overwhelmed by how much I love having her back, how much I missed her- for all of half a day- and then she's made the feelings stronger by really being there for me today, by looking after me...

I shake the thoughts from my head as best as I can, standing up and pacing the room, my fingers pushing back my hair.

Even as I try to keep my thoughts clear they drift, back to lunchtime in the toilets. The hug she'd pulled me into, the kiss she'd planted on my temple, her lips...

My hand sweeps out, pushing a whole load of stuff off of my bedside cabinet. It clutters loudly to the ground, but I don't care, hugging my body tightly as my feet keep walking.

Argh! What is wrong with me? This isn't like me... not at all. I've never been so... so _hung up _on anyone before... let alone someone like Gabby! She's so... sweet, I guess.

Oh God, Gabby. Now I'm thinking of her again.

Gosh, this is killing me.

I sit down heavily on my bed again, taking a pillow and hugging it to my chest. I hate how this has creeped up on me, how I didn't see any of this coming. Some preparation could have been nice.

"Hey, Sharpay. I heard noises are-" As Ryan pokes his face around the door I throw the pillow I was hugging. It lands against the door as he closes it in time to deflect my weapon. "Hey!" He looks around the door in protest. "I was just checking if you're okay!"

Yeah, well I'm not okay. I'm not okay with this, with whatever it is I'm feeling. I take another pillow off of my bed, noticing him flinch back a little as I hug it to my chest once more. Once he's realised the pillow's staying with me he comes in properly, looking down at the mess on my bedroom floor.

"And you're not, are you?" I shrug in reply, not wanting to have to explain everything to him. "Is this about Gabby?"

I freeze, even my breath catching in my throat, my eyes widening a little. Am I really that transparent?

"We're twins, Sharpay. I can tell when something is bothering you. And something to do with her is bothering you."

I can't think of anything to do, or write... I haven't got a way to express myself. So I swing my arm, hitting him gently with the back of my hand.

"Ow!" Oh, he is such a girl. I hardly touched him! "Hey, what are you getting mad at me for?"

Because he's here, he's with me and he's within hitting distance. And he was the one who told me to be nice to Gabby. I wasn't going to be, I was going to do my best to ignore her, keep it at a strict working level. But then 'nice' came into the equation.

I sigh to myself, falling backwards onto the bed and covering my face with the pillow.

"Wow, I know things are bad Shar, but that's no reason to suffocate yourself." He laughs, lifting the pillow a little. "What is it that's got you so worked up?"

I just try and bury myself deeper into the pillow, trying to block him out. Trying to block everything out.

"Oh." I hear after almost a minute's silence. It's the sound of realization and I panic, sitting up quickly and spotting the source of his reasoning. I pluck the notebook out of his grasp, clutching it to my body as if trying to stop something escaping from it. "That's what's bothering you."

It's not a question, he's definitely got it. Of course he has, if anyone knows me well it's Ryan. My skin prickles in fear, scared of what he'll say, how he'll react. What he'll think of me. I wait for him to say something, loosening my grip on the notepad as I lower it.

Her eyes stare back at me, still smiling, and it makes my own lips curl upwards, unable to resist.

"That's it? You like Gabriella?"

That's it? _That's it?!_ Does he have any idea what this is doing to me? If I could scream I would, but settle for hitting him again. With the notepad this time.

"Ow... so is it more than that?"

I start to nod- but stop, my eyes wide and my head shaking from side to side because no, it can't be more than that. I push myself off of the bed, my feet following a similar route to the one I was pacing a few minutes ago.

"Sharpay..." Ryan stands up when I ignore him, standing in front of me and grabbing my shoulders. He's not rough, but he's firm. "Shar, just listen to me." I look up at him. One of his eyebrows is raised. "It's okay to feel this way."

I shake my head, trying to break away from him.

"No, think about it. Truly think about the way you feel. Think of all the things you like about her, what makes her so... appealing. Think about how you feel the next time you see her. _Then_ judge if it's unnatural."

I've never used that word. 'Unnatural' isn't the issue. It just isn't... me.

I don't think. Then again, even I'm unsure who 'me' really is any more.

"Can you take me to school again tomorrow?" Ryan asks, heading for my bedroom door. "My car's still in the shop."

I nod, thinking wryly that I'd probably still be speechless if I could talk. He leaves, shutting the door behind him quietly. I consider getting undressed, but decide that will give me too much time to think.

I crawl onto my bed sheets, falling onto my side as I reach my pillows, using my remote to turn on my stereo.

I close my eyes, hoping to fall asleep almost straight away. Needless to say I don't, instantly seeing _her_ as soon as my eyes are shut.

Shit.

I feel a cold nose nuzzle into my neck, and turn my head, opening my eyes to see my precious Yorkie giving me those puppy eyes I loved so much. I gave him a small smile, turning over to face Boi as his tiny tail starts wagging. I close my eyes once more, comforted a little as I run my hand through his fur.

He lets out a small whine before turning around in a circle a couple of times before deciding my arms were a good place to lay for the night.

_Some people want it all_

_But I don't want nothing at all_

_If it ain't you baby_

_If I ain't got you baby..._

I frown, holding Boi close to me as my mind drifts back to Gabriella. Maybe I was just over reacting. This'll all blow over by tomorrow morning, after a decent night's sleep. By then I'll have a different perspective of how things are, and everything will just... slip into place.

Go back to normal.

It just has to. Right?

_Some people want diamond rings_

_Some just want everything_

_But everything means nothing_

_If I ain't got you, Yeah..._

-x-x-x-x-x-

A wet kiss on my nose wakes me up, and I open my eyes slowly. Boi's sitting there, happy as anything that I'm awake.

"Hey sweetie." I smile at him, looking at the time. Half an hour or so before my alarm would usually go, but I could care less. I could do with a longer run today.

I get up, changing from yesterday's clothes to some sweatpants and a sports bra, tying my hair back in a messy ponytail.

My head is occupied with things to do as I get ready, as I jog through the park, Boi tugging on the lead, a little ahead of me. It's when I get back to the house, undress, and step into my shower that I can't think of anything else to think about.

I try to think about what Ryan said... to think about the things I like about her. The thought makes me stomach twist.

I know I don't like the way she dresses. They're often poor outfit choices, but somehow she manages to pull them off, in her own way.

Like the first day we met she was wearing an oddly patterned skirt which reached down to just above her knees. It was blue, almost turquoise actually and wouldn't have looked good on anyone else. Especially next to the pink top Gabriella had also worn, the bottom a lace pattern. Though it was a nice shade of pink... But the jacket had worked. Maybe even made the whole outfit work.

I freeze, my hand half way through washing the shampoo out of my hair, and backtrack. For someone I didn't think I'd paid much attention to, I sure do remember a hell of a lot about her.

I remember... I remember doing my best to intimidate her when I first saw her spying up the auditions list for the Winter musical.

I also remember her not being phased, complimenting my... what was that word again? 'Penmanship'. I remember being a little jealous, and yet a little admiring at the way she seemed to ignore a good portion of what I had to say to her.

I continue rinsing out my hair before reaching for my conditioner, massaging a generous amount of it deep into my hair.

I shake my head, trying to clear my thoughts once more. Of course, once again, it doesn't work.

Whatever. I can't be alone with just my thoughts right now.

I finish up my shower as quickly possible, rushing to get ready. I'm about to leave my room when my eye catches some of the things I pushed onto my floor last night. I bend down, picking up a reading light, two books and a whole load of paperwork. I let out a loud breath as I realise it's a whole bunch of music sheets.

I stuff them in my bag as I hear Ryan start to make a move in his bedroom, giving Boi a kiss goodbye as I scrawl a note on the pad in the kitchen.

_Ryan, I'm sorry. Had to leave early, so call a cab. xx S._

I feel a bit bad, but I can't deal with him prodding and poking me for information, asking me more questions.

-x-x-x-x-x-

I arrive at school early, my footsteps echoing loudly down the corridors. It's good, because I want some alone time before Home Room. I find my feet leading me to the one place I truly feel comfortable in this school. The auditorium.

No one will be there yet, I'm sure of it.

I kind of regret wearing high heels, though it comes naturally to me now, the sound seeming like it's the only thing for miles as they click against the ground.

I choose a random seat, sitting in it, and watching the lifeless stage. Some more of the props were out now. A bed and a bedside cabinet sat next to each other next to what looked like a bay window of some sort. As I stare I realise it's the other side of the balcony- the one that belongs in a love story.

I don't know how long I sit there for before I get up, and head for the piano. I sit there, watching the keys like I expect them to do something. I hesitate, looking around before I take my sheet music out of my bag, placing it in front of me.

My fingers are shaking as I place my fingers over the keys. I know I have to practice this. It's got to be perfect.

After the first couple of notes I screw up, my fingers in the wrong place for the chord I'm trying to play, ruining the whole piece. Gosh, I can't even play like myself today. No wonder with my thinking this wacky.

I sit up, my back straight, before waving my hands up and down in front of my face in a silent version of my usual warm-up technique. This time I use it for focus, breathing deeply until I feel myself settle.

I open my eyes, repositioning my fingers. I fix my gaze on the music sheet, my fingers starting to settle into the rhythm of the song, gliding over the keys.

It's not till right at the end that I hit a glitch, the note at least an octave too deep, and I sigh, folding my arms to rest on the piano. It complains with a horrible cocktail of high and low notes that were never meant to be mixed, my eyes screwing up, my head starting to ache.

"Can't focus?" I flinch, turning in the pianist's seat to see Ms. Darbus standing in the wings. I raise my hand to my heart, trying to recover from my slight scare. "Sorry, I didn't mean to make you jump. You were playing so beautifully. And then..."

She gives me a look I can't read, and I turn back to the piano, not sure what else to do.

"Maybe you just need to find your muse." She says, her voice soft as she comes round to the front of the piano. I look down, readjusting the music sheets in front of me. She picks one up, reading it, the words 'by Sharpay Evans' a whisper on her lips.

I can't prevent the blush I feel rising in my cheeks. "Or maybe the problem is you already have?"

I raise my head, panicking a little. Why is it everyone can see right through me lately? I used to be so protected, know where I stood and how to keep myself from getting hurt.

What happened to that?

"Try focusing on the thing that inspired you to write this stunning piece in the first place." She puts the music sheet back in front of me, and I watch her for a moment as she steps away from the piano.

I bite my lip, and close my eyes, and think of _her_.

I think of her smiling, laughing. The way the corners of her eyes crinkle a little when she's happy. I think of that look she gives me that makes me feel... like she honestly wants to know what I'm thinking.

My fingers start playing on their own, I hardly have to think about it, opening my eyes to look at my music sheet. My body becomes more and more engrossed in the piece, and I almost forget Ms. Darbus is watching, my mind far away from the auditorium.

I finish the piece, taking in a deep breath as I turn back to Ms. Darbus. She smiles at me, clapping her hands together a few times.

"Well done, my dear. I trust I'll see you in Home Room?"

I nod, glad she says nothing else, offering her a shy smile as I pack up my things. I slide off of the stool as she sits at her desk, making notes on the script that was on the table.

I walk out of the theatre, noticing the hallway has started to fill with people. I've got enough time to go to my locker and-

_Oh God..._

That's when I spot her, a small but tired smile on her face as she chats to Kelsi and Taylor. I turn quickly in the hallway, walking quickly as I attempt to get to Home Room before-

"Sharpay!" I stop, stock still when I hear her voice, and turn around to see a grin on her face that- for some reason- I can't help but return. Since when did smiling become something you could catch?

Gabriella waves a small goodbye to Kelsi and Taylor as she runs to catch up with me, even thought they're heading for exactly the same place as us.

"Hey." She grins, linking her arm through mine, and I give her my biggest smile back. Not that I think I had a choice, my lips are doing their own thing. "You okay?" I nod, and she nods back in a copy cat fashion. "Good."

I'm trying not to think about anything as we walk down the hall, but of course it doesn't work. My mind starts to focus on her arm, linked through mine and my eyes are drawn to her as she starts talking about how she has no idea what she's doing for her talent show piece. She's really worried about it too because the show is a week from Monday. My eyes move down to her lips as she talks. She's wearing a different coloured lip gloss today, the light making it shine a variety of shades between 'rose' and 'lavender pink'. Gosh, I know too much about pink.

"So, are you okay?" She asks me as we walk into home room. "I know you said you were, but you seem distracted today."

I sigh to myself, but nod as I sit in my seat. Miss Darbus watches me, and I sink into my seat a little under her scrutiny.

I roll my eyes, and tear a bit of paper out of my notebook.

_Come to the music room during free period. xx S_

Gabriella gives me a strange, curious look as soon as she reads my note, her eyes staying on me for longer than I'd like them to be.

"Okay." She whispers, and turns her attention back to Miss Darbus, who's talking about the winter musical this year. I stare at my desk, trying to tune out the conversation.

"...and we're also looking for another pianist to possibly give Kelsi some stage time."

Kelsi? Stage time? I turn to look at Kelsi, who's smiling at Ryan. Maybe he talked her into a dance number. I turn back to the front.

Miss Darbus is staring straight at me, a knowing look on her face and I shake my head as subtly as I can.

"If any of you find a good pianist, then please let me know as soon as you can. After all, time is everything, and we have a show to produce!" She claps her hands twice, and the bell rings.

I don't move as everyone around me gets up, staring at Miss Darbus. So she's trying to call me out on this? Almost teasing me in fact? She stares back, her smile making the corners of her eyes crinkle.

I sigh, pushing my chair back and leaving the classroom with one quick glance back over my shoulder. Miss Darbus is still watching me as we leave, and I turn back to Gabby, following her to Biology.

"So, I was thinking..." Gabriella starts, her voice hesitant. I turn my head a little to the side in interest, curious. She points to the bathroom about five feet away, and I nod, following her in there. She does a quick check that no one's in here with us before turning back to me. I keep my gaze steady as I lean against the sinks, letting her know she has my undivided attention.

"So I was thinking that... maybe you should audition for the second pianist."

I raise my eyebrow. She really thinks this is going to happen? I shake my head, and she pouts in response. Gabby steps close to me to take hold of my hands, swinging them a little as she pleads.

"Oh, come on Shar! You play the piano really well- and I mean _really_ well- and I know you can read sheet music. There's a ton of it around your room."

I glare at her, doing my best to call upon the ice queen within me. I really, really don't want to perform in front of the entire student population. To be honest I've never been very confident about my piano playing.

To my surprise she breaks into a smile, a quiet giggle escaping her lips.

"You're so cute when you're angry, and not yelling. I mean I know you can't help it, but you really remind me of Tinkerbell." Gabriella's face suddenly lights up, excitement creeping in. "Hey, we could get you a little bell that you can ring when you're annoyed!"

I stare at her for a moment before cracking a grin, my shoulder's shaking slightly in a silent laugh.

"You know it really wouldn't be that bad, letting people know you play the piano." Her voice is soft now, and she's so close I can smell her perfume. It's rose scented, possibly with a hint of jasmine... and completely intoxicating.

The warning bell rings, and she gasps, keeping hold of one of my hands to pull me towards the door, towards Biology.

-x-x-x-x-x-

Gabby remembers my note as soon as Biology ends. She grabs my hand as soon as the bell rings and signals free period, leading me to the music room. We stop outside the door and I freeze, dropping her hand. Can I really do this? Show her this?

I bite my lip, hesitantly, and she smiles back at me.

"Come on, Sharpay." She whispers, and her fingers reclaim my hand, slipping between my own. She gives my hand a gentle squeeze, and I feel that tingling feeling again. Up my arm, right through to my slightly queasy stomach.

I take a deep breath, and open the door to the small room, the piano waiting patiently for someone to come and play it. I walk over to it, slipping my music sheets out of my bag before dropping it on the floor. I straighten the sheets out against the cover protecting the piano keys, before turning to Gabby, who's locking the music room door. She pulls the blind down too, stopping anyone from seeing me play.

I bite my lip again, suddenly super nervous about how she's going to feel about this. Well, only one way to find out I guess. My hand shakes a little as I hold the notes out to her, and her eyes study my hand for a moment before she takes them, her other hand wrapping itself around my own.

My eyes stay fixed to her face, watching as recognition, then confusion fills her features. God, I feel so nauseas.

"Sharpay..." Gabriella breathes the words, the grip on my hand loosening a little. "When... when did you... this was private!"

I sit on the piano seat as she lets go of my hand, my heart aching a little in my chest.

"Or I guess..." I don't dare look up, even though her voice is softer now. "I guess it was. Nothings too private for you now, is it Tink?"

I give her a glance to make sure I'm not in the doghouse, and she smiles at me. Gabriella walks behind me, running her fingers through my hair as she leans to place the music sheets in front of me. I shiver, my head trying to lean into her hand a little as she pulls away before moving to stand against the piano to watch me. "Can you play it for me?"

I nod, and close my eyes, breathing deeply to try and calm myself. I spread out the music sheets, and lift the casing to reveal the keys. They glisten in the light, and I smile to myself as I open my eyes to place my hands where they need to be, my feet finding their places. I feel for the _una corda_, the soft pedal, making sure I'm comfortable in my position.

My fingers start to play the tune, my eyes flicking between the music- which I no longer need to look at- and Gabriella. She smiles at me, and my heart does a little flip

The song comes to an end, and I finish staring at the keys, afraid to look up. What if she hated it? What if she's angry I wanted to put her song to music without permission? What if-

"I loved it." She whispers in my ear, her arms suddenly wrapping themselves around my neck from behind. "It was beautiful Sharpay." Gabby releases her embrace, and nudges me so I scoot up on the piano seat. I do so, and she leans her head against my shoulder, one hand reaching out to play with my arm. She runs her fingers down my skin, her nails creating a sensation not so different from tickling, only I don't laugh. I close my eyes, loving the feeling.

After a while she sits up, and turns to me, and I do the same, wondering if she wants to talk. We're close because of how small the chair is, and even closer because we're both leaning in a little.

Gabby's hand comes up, and pushes back a few stray bits of hair, her hand moving down to cup my cheek.

"You know, you really surprise me Sharpay. It's amazing... but since you've stopped talking you've changed... so much." I can feel her breath warming my skin, but somehow I find the strength to raise my eyebrow. "In a good way! What I _mean_ is..." She bites her lip, struggling to find the words. Instead she guides my head towards hers a little, and leans in, placing a kiss just above the corner of my lip. It only lasts a few seconds, but it was more than I was expecting. She pulls her lips away, and leans her forehead against mine, her words a whisper on her breath. "Thank you."

I pull away to show her I'm smiling, and give her a similar kiss, a bit closer to her cheek before pulling her into a hug. I don't trust myself too close to her lips.

My face flushes, and I pull away, turning back to the piano. I point at her and to the lyrics, and she smiles, studying the music.

"Yeah, I think I can do that." She nods, and clears her throat.

I play the introduction again and her voice joins in, finding the right key for the music.

"_She'd do anything to sparkle in his eye,  
She would suffer, she would fight, and compromise,  
She's been wishin' on the stars that shine so bright..._"

I feel something inside of me warm as I watch her sing, still smiling that adorable smile. It's then I realise that trying to deny this would be hopeless. So fine, that's it. I'm head over hills for the freaky genius girl.

I'm surprised to say the least, I'd almost given up hope of ever feeling... anything. Who knows? Maybe the Ice Queen's heart has finally melted...


	8. Kismet

**A/N: I cannot**_**believe**_**how long it has been. I guess I did warn I wouldn't be updating for a while… just didn't think it would be this long. But hey, sometimes life calls and you have things to do.**

**So I'm sorry for the wait… especially to anyone that has to travel back and see where I am in this story! You know it's a bad sign when people have to reread it =S**

**Once again, a thank you to my one and only live2rite. I've now christened her Niknak! XD**

**But seriously, without her it would have ended like three chapters ago. Abruptly. And angrily.**

**XD Enjoy**

xoxoxoxoxox

I feel my neck prickle, like something cold is hanging around me. I shiver, and rub my hands together before placing them on my neck. No effect. I frown, and spin in my chair. Kelsi looks down, back to her work. I continue to watch her for moment, and confirm my suspicions when her eyes trail back up to me, still just as cold.

So I'm still not totally forgiven for past mistakes, I see.

I turn back to face Miss Darbus. She's on about something to do with the production, and for a moment her stare lingers on me. What is it with everyone today?

"I ask again, would anyone care to offer themselves to the cause?" Miss Darbus asks, still staring at me. I wish I'd listened, but I can guess what she's asking. Instead I sink down in my chair, and look over to Gabriella. Her face shows a little disappointment.

The bell rings and I start to leave the class when I feel a hand on my wrist. There's no mistaking who it is.

"I wish you'd just be in her show. She wants you to be." Gabriella sighs as I shrug. "Well if you won't play in front of people then who's going to play that beautiful piece of music for me at the talent show?"

I look at her incredulously. Did she really think I was doing that?

"Don't look so shocked, you know that music was exactly what I've been looking for!" Her arm links through mine as she leads me to join Kelsi in the hallway. Exactly who I don't feel comfortable around right now... "If you don't play it for me who will?"

"Play what?" Kelsi asks, her eyes only meeting mine for a fraction of a second before her focus turns back to Gabriella.

I quickly raise my hand to point at Kelsi, and Gabriella frowns at me.

"Sharpay!"

"What?" Kelsi asks, her voice a little higher as she watches the display. She looks at me, and I mime playing the piano before pointing at her again.

Gabriella sighs, loudly, and pulls me and Kelsi towards the music room. She checks to makes sure it's empty then opens the door for us.

"Get in."

I find myself complying, and so does Kelsi, following her dumbly into the classroom.

"Right." Gabriella begins to explain, holding her hand out to me. I realise what she wants and take the sheet music from my hand. "Sharpay wrote some music, to go with a some lyrics of mine."

I notice Kelsi looks pretty... shocked. I don't know if it's because she didn't know Gabby writes lyrics, or that I write music.

Gabby takes the music from my hand, and walks over to the piano, placing it down in order, ready to read.

"You wrote some music?" Kelsi whispers hoarsely, and I shrug and look down. "Can I hear it?"

I rub my eyes tiredly, and sit at the piano.

A performance later, and I finally look away from Gabriella to see Kelsi's face. Her jaw is dropped by a few inches.

"Oh my God... Sharpay..." She sits down in a nearby chair with a thud, shaking her head. "I had no idea you were so... talented. I mean, you can sing... but so can a lot of people. Not everyone could write anything so beautiful."

I shrug, feeling my cheeks heat up.

"Which is exactly why I think she should play it. But she wants you to, Kelsi." Gabriella says, her eyebrow raised at me.

"Me? Oh no, no, no, no... I can't play that! It would take weeks to get it at perfect as you played it!" Kelsi frowns at me, her head tilting. "Wait... why don't you want to play it yourself?"

I look down, noticing how interesting my hands look when they're on my lap.

"Because no one really knows she plays the piano." Gabby sighs once more. "Please, Sharpay. I really love this song, and I _want_ people to see us perform it. Together."

There's a long silence, and I close my eyes, weighing my options.

Fine. If Kelsi doesn't think she can play it... I guess I don't have much choice. I nod my head, and Gabriella squeals with delight. She practically runs over to me, and throws her arms around me from one side.

"Thank you! You're amazing!"

At first I'm a little shocked that she's hugging me in front of Kelsi, but I relax, bringing up my arm to rub her shoulder as I smile, leaning my head on hers.

Kelsi laughs, giving me what seems to be a look of approval as she watches Gabriella smother me. "I'll catch you guys later." She grins. I offer her a little wave, whilst Gabby shouts out a quick 'bye'.

"Oh, I'm so excited!" Gabby sits to face me on the piano chair, and I turn to face her too. "God, I wish you'd lost your voice last year." She smiles, and I frown. "Then we'd already be this close." She scoots a little nearer to me on the chair, which worries me. There's not a lot of room on these stools. "Maybe even closer."

I open my mouth, wishing I had the words to break the silence. I'm not sure if I can control myself in this situation a second time around. She gets a little closer, and I can't seem to control my hand as it leaves my lap, and brushes back her hair before moving down to cup her cheek.

"Shar-"

I cut her off- a little rudely- pressing my lips against hers, simply holding her lower lip with my own. I feel her tense up, and my hand shakes nervously against her skin. After a moment I pull away, studying her face.

Her eyes are studying me, full of curiosity, but she doesn't look angry. At least, I don't think she does. The lack of response chills me, and I start to get up- only I don't get far. Her hand reaches up, and tugs on my shoulder, pulling me back onto the seat.

And then her lips are on mine. And this time I'm the one struggling to respond. After a moment I realise how stupid I'm being and open my mouth as she licks my bottom lip, letting her deepen the kiss. I kiss her until I can't breathe, and when I pull away a tiny whimper escapes her lips.

In a moment I jump up, staring at her. I can't believe I just... I shake my head, and stride towards the door, ready to be anywhere but here.

"Sharpay!" I hear her call, but I break into a run, past the students, past the teachers who call out my name too, until I almost run into someone.

"Miss Evans!" I skid to a halt to stop myself from crashing into Miss Darbus. "What are you...?" She stops, looking behind me, and then making an analysis of my face. "My room, now." She says. I glance over my shoulder, and see Gabriella in the hallway, looking lost as she tries to spot me. I shake my head to myself and turn to follow Miss Darbus

We sit in silence in the classroom, her gently looking over some papers in front of her. I tap my fingers against the desk, not knowing what to do, when to leave.

She looks up at me, and then towards her piano, the one that stays in the corner of the room. I frown, and move over to it, sitting on the stool. My fingers run gently over a few of the keys, and I take a deep breath. It's then that I notice the sheet music, sitting in it's proper place. It's one of Kelsi's songs, for the show.

Slowly, my fingers find their place, and I start to play the song. It's sweet, if a little slow, but I like the feeling it has to it.

"Rehearsals are Mondays and Thursday's after school." Miss Darbus says. I jump at the sound of her voice, the piano having a go at me as my fingers fall out of step. I can't help but nod, barely taking in what she's saying. "So you'll do it?" Again I nod. Then it hits me.

What I've just agreed to do.

Oh no… no, no, no, no, no….

"Miss Evans, it really won't be the end of the world if the school learns you can play piano. Just another one of your many talents."

Well, half the school still thinks I'm a huge slut for going after Gabriella's boyfriend. Thankfully some people figured it out after hearing him and Gabby in the hallway. Others have figured it out because I'm still friends with Gabby.

Or I was.

What are we now? Surely we can't start something? A relationship? Because that's all we need in high school.

To be honest I'm still a little thrown she kissed me back. I close my eyes. Just thinking of her and _it_ is giving me a headache.

"So where is your muse today?" Miss Darbus asks, and my eyes snap open. She has a knowing look on her face, but says no more on the subject as I pick up my bag. "See you Thursday."

Thursday is tomorrow. Well, I suppose it gives me a reason to avoid going to Gabriella's. I'm meant to see her tomorrow for Biology… but I don't think I can face her.

Not now.

xoxoxoxox

Thursday. Rehearsals today. But first lessons.

In home room I get in first and sit at the back, away from where I know she'll sit. I watch her walk into the room, her eyes falling on me, a hurt look on her face. I look at my desk, tracing a pattern someone's carved into the table with a compass.

xoxoxoxox

Music. I sit in the only desk available, and it happens to be next to her. She's got her headphones on, and is playing a tune in silence. I pick up my headphones to do the same, and start playing.

Once I catch her eye and she blushes, looking away from me quickly.

I see Troy smirk out of the corner of my eye, obviously enjoying seeing this. What a jerk off.

It's not till later that I notice Gabriella's keyboard. She seems so engrossed in the music, so focused and calm, even though the sound is turned all the way down.

xoxoxoxox

Biology would be difficult to avoid having to sit or talk with her. So I skip it.

It seemed simpler than facing her, watching her. I don't know how to act around her.

Avoidance wasn't what I was going for, but how can I do this?

How can I start something like this when I can't even talk to the girl? I can't ask her how she feels. And I can't explain how I feel.

There are some things I refuse to write on paper.

'Feelings' is one of them. 'I like you, do you like me?'

Yeah. Right.

xoxoxoxox

In the afternoon I see Kelsi, who watches me the whole way through rehearsals. I can't tell if Gabriella has told her about what happened. I know she knows whatever it is they've talked about is to do with me.

It's the first time I get a real sense that I've upset her. I try my best to focus on the music, listening for ques. I get a few wrong but Miss Darbus says I just need time. Not that there's a lot of that left. The play is a week after the talent show.

I sigh, thinking about the talent show. What's she going to do? Can Kelsi play that song?

At the end of rehearsals I find Kelsi's bag and sneak my sheet music into it. She can play Gabriella's song.

It would make things simpler.

xoxoxoxox

Saturday night is stormy. It matches my mood perfectly. I managed to dodge Gabriella all of yesterday, hardly looking at her. How can I when all I want to do is smile at her?

I lean back into my pillow, closing my eyes like it's going to block out the sound of the thunder, the lightning so bright that I can see it through my eyelids. Boi lets out a little bark, and I sit up, just as a knock sounds at my door.

I open my mouth, but I can't answer. Slowly the door opens, and Kelsi's head pokes around the door.

"You're not naked right?" She asks, eyes on the floor, and I switch my bedside lamp on as an answer. "Good." She finally looks at me, only the dim light from my dresser lighting anything about her. She looks a little scary, but I don't know if it's because of the shadows the light is casting on her face or the look in her eyes. The rain pounds loudly on my window.

"I want to know what you think you're playing at?" She lets herself fully into my room, closing the door behind her. "Do you know what you've done to her? To Gabby?" I look down at my bed sheets, running my fingers over them. "Why the hell are you avoiding her?"

I look up at her frowning. I point at my throat, then throw my hands up in frustration.

"Oh I know, you can't answer back, blah, blah, blah! But I think that's why you're so afraid. It's fine now. You don't have to talk. But one day you will, and that scares the crap out of you." Kelsi's voice starts to raise a little and I flinch. "Look, I can't tell you how to feel. I don't know how you feel… but I know what happened. And I truly don't understand. Gabriella asked me to give you a chance, to learn who you were. She promised me that you weren't the 'Ice Queen' everyone sees. Well I've tried. And for a while I believed her. Last Wednesday I saw a Sharpay that I have _never_ seen before. A girl who wrote music, for someone she cared about, and played it with everything she had." Kelsi sighs, running her fingers through her short hair. I watch her, knowing my eyes are glistening as I hear what she has to say. Especially in this light. "I don't care what you're thinking right now. And I don't need you to explain anything to me. Just don't put that girl through anymore pain."

Kelsi turns to leave, and I get to my feet quickly, holding onto her arm. She looks down at my hand, and then to me as I pull her towards my bed.

"Gabriella?" She asks, trying to figure me out. I nod as we sit down, and she sighs to herself. "Well… every time I see her she looks ready to burst into tears. She isn't singing, isn't playing her music. She can't seem to focus on anything. Any time someone brings your name up she excuses herself." I shake my head, a single tear escaping my eye. "I know it's not what you want to hear, but she's pretty broken up. Wednesday night she did nothing but cry. I stayed with her… she was in no state to be left alone." Kelsi stands, and wipes her hands awkwardly on her jeans. "Just think about what you're doing, Sharpay. I know this has gotta be hard for you, but do you really want to lose Gabby over this? Whichever way you choose she has to know." She opens the door, giving me one final, stern glance, a flash of lightening lighting her eyes up like something from a monster movie. "Soon."

I listen for her leaving, and look outside at the torrential rain. It might even flood if it goes on for too long. Who knows?

So… soon?

How soon? How long will I have the guts to do what I want to do right now?

I could wait till I can speak. But that's not until Monday night. I'm not sure it can wait that long.

I look at the time. It's already twenty minutes to midnight, but I'm sure she'll still be up. I grab my keys off of the table and almost run downstairs. I should really grab a coat, but I don't, sprinting to my car.

I hope she's awake. If not I'll wait in my car until morning. I'll be there as soon as she wakes up.

The drive seems to take too long, my window wipers working their little asses off, the rain pouring down in sheets, making it even harder to see on an already dark road. I almost have to squint. Thank god for headlights or I wouldn't even see up to my own bumper.

Finally I see her house, and pull up outside of it. I take a moment to study her house. Her mom still seems to be downstairs, and I get a little nervous. What if she's told her mom she doesn't want me here?

Well. It's the front door or the window. But I think I'll leave the window as a last resort.

I run from my car to her house, and arrive under her porch, already soaked to the bone. I knock on her door, letting out a deep breath. I know it's late to be calling, but I have to do this. I really do.

Her mom answers, and frowns at me in confusion. "Sharpay, what are you doing here this late?" She asks rhetorically and she takes a hold of my arm, pulling me inside. "Get in here, you must be freezing."

I am, but that's not important right now.

I shake my head, and point upstairs, hoping my eyes look questioning. Miss Montez nods her head. "Sure, I guess. You're just lucky it's not a school night or you'd be going straight back home." I start to head upstairs, when I feel a hand on my shoulder. "Just tell me one thing; does this have anything to do with why my little girl has been so upset lately?"

I hesitate, then nod my head, looking down, ashamed. Over the past few weeks I've grown more attached to this woman than my own mother. I hate the feeling that I've disappointed her.

"Then go sort it out. I hate seeing her so torn up about whatever it is." She gives me a gentle hug, her shoulder purposely avoiding my neck. I'm not sure I deserve it, but a part of me is a grateful, and another is scared I'll never get another after tonight. I place my head on her shoulder and squeeze her back, hoping it expresses everything I wish I could say. She lets go of me after a while, gesturing to upstairs.

Right. Here it goes.

When I reach her door I freeze. My hand is poised to knock. Is this the right thing to do? I'm not even sure I should be here.

I take in a deep breath, and pluck up my courage, tapping on the door.

"Sure, mom. Come in." I hear her voice, and even through the wood she sounds broken. I let out my breath, hoping I don't make a fool of myself and burst into tears. I enter the room, locking the door behind me to keep from being disturbed. Eventually she turns to face me from where she stands at her balcony. "Well, you're not my mom."

I shake my head.

"Leave me alone Sharpay." She sighs, not frowning but wearing a tired look. She seems exhausted. "Isn't that what you've been trying to do?"

I nod, because anything else would be a lie.

"Why?"

I shrug, and point to my head.

"Your head? What about your head?"

It was all mixed up, that's what.

I close my eyes, trying to think of what to do… to express myself. Only one thing comes to mind, and I try and fight the urge. Not yet. That isn't the right thing to do.

She walks over, like she's dawdling, putting off getting too close.

"If this is about being confused then it's okay. But I guess there's something I should tell you." Gabriella sighs, sitting on her bed, taking a breath she seems to need desperately. "I told you that if I liked someone then you'd be the first to know. So… surprise. I guess you know it's you." She laughs to herself, looking down at her hands. She's playing with the ring she has on her right hand. "I don't know what happened, but you just seemed like you'd changed. I thought I was seeing the Sharpay beneath the surface." She looks up at me, tears in her eyes. "Was all that a lie?"

I shake my head, and sit next to her, placing both my hands on her cheeks.

"Then what is it you want Sharpay?" She sighs, her eyes closing. My thumb gently wipes away a stray tear, and I place my forehead against hers.

"You." My voice is hoarse, a little strained. "I want you."

Gabriella's eyes snap open, disbelief in them. "Sharpay…"

"I'm sorry, I am. I really am." A tears escapes me and Gabriella holds me close to her, kissing my temple.

"Oh sweetie, it's okay." She moves to look into my eyes. "I forgive-" She blinks, and worry hits her full force. "Sharpay! You're not meant to talk for another…" She looks at the clock. It's just turned 1. "One week and 29 hours!" Her voice raises, and I shrug.

"I needed to tell you-"

"Ssh. You've said enough." She soothes, placing a gentle, tentative kiss on my lips. She's nervous I'll reject her, that I'll run. Well, I guess I have a point to prove.

I place my hand behind her head, pulling her closer, deepening the kiss. She opens her lips, and I push her down gently, moving to hover above her.

"You're soaked." She giggles, squirming underneath me a little. "I can't believe you came out here for me in this weather." I slide off of her, sitting beside her, legs stretched out.

I shrug, and she sits up, pushing some of my wet hair behind my ears.

"Do you want to stay here tonight?" She asks, and I raise my eyebrow. "It's just… I don't want you driving home in this."

My first instinct- as always- is to argue, to defend myself. But instead I smile. "Sure." I croak, and she gives me a disapproving look.

"Ssh! No more talking, Tink!" Gabby says, trying to be stern. "As much as I love your voice I can wait another week."

I pout, trying my best to look cute.

"I also love that look." Gabby smiles, and crawls over to straddle my lap. She takes my pouting lip between her teeth and grazes them delicately over the skin. She pushes me onto the bed, lips still attached to mine as she plays with the bottom of my top, her fingers pushing up the material to trace the line of my bare stomach. "Is this okay?"

I nod, sure that even if she hadn't told me not to speak I wouldn't be able to find the words. She leans down to give me another kiss, this one slow and teasing. Her tongue runs over my bottom lip and I let out a small whimper.

Gabriella pulls back, a cute- if slightly smug- grin on her face. "Good. I hope you locked my door." Another nod and her lips are trailing down my jaw. She gives a small, soft kiss to my neck and trails down, my eyes closing as her hand pushes up my shirt.


	9. Breathe

**A/N: Sorry. I know, it's been an age! And I apologise to anyone who's had to go back and read chapters or the whole thing. I understand if you can't be bothered, but I just lost my grip on this story. I had no drive and no idea where it was going to go. And also had to workout the timeline in my head again, and so changed a few of the lines of the previous chapter. Because otherwise the whole thing just didn't make sense. Just to be clear, this is now a Sunday, and it's the next Monday of the story, not this one coming which marks Sharpay's recovery time.**

**Thank you if you're still reading, and thanks to MaxximumRide666 for sparking this off again. =)**

xoxoxoxoxox

I blink, the sun shining brightly though a gap in the curtains. It's harsh on tired eyes, and I turn away from the window.

I have to catch my breath when I see her, and last night comes rushing back to me. Gabriella is lying on her side, facing me. She looks like a sleeping angel, her hair reflecting the sun with a glossy sheen, her cheek resting upon her hands, making a pillow beneath her.

Suddenly it occurs to me; my girlfriend is quite the Disney cliché.

I check the clock behind her head, and see it's just gone eight o'clock. Way too early for a Sunday. But it's worth being up early if I get to see this.

I reach out my hand, placing it on her cheeks. My thumb trails down, brushing over her lips. She stirs a little and I flinch, pulling my hand back. Gabriella's only reaction is to smile warmly, and snuggle a little closer.

After a while I figure I should occupy myself. I sit up, making sure the duvet covers Gabby whilst I take the sheet, wrapping it around my body. I move over to her keyboard, turning it on, whilst one hand holds up the sheets.

I turn the volume down a little, and run my right hand –my best player- over the keys, gently enough not to make a sound. I feel for what I think are the right notes, near middle C, and play around with them, starting to form something that could turn into a tune. It's soft, and mellow.

I feel her arms snake around my shoulders, avoiding my neck. A kiss brushes my cheek, and I close my eyes, leaning back into her.

"Morning, Tinkerbell." I can tell she's smiling, and look at her, an eyebrow raised before turning back to the keyboard. "So I was thinking… maybe you'd want this back." Gabby walks to the nearby study table, and takes her songbook off of the side. I see she's got the duvet covering her shoulders, and blush a little.

She opens it up, and hands me the folded piece of paper hiding inside. I take it, unfolding it gently. It looks like it's been opened and refolded a thousand times. I smile to myself. "As much as I love Kelsi…" She hesitates, her teeth tugging on her bottom lip. "I'd rather you were playing it for me." She looks down and I take her hand, placing a kiss on her knuckles.

I want to, I do. I just… well, maybe making her happy trumps how the student body thinks of me. I mean, my reputations been through hell this past week or two. What's one more thing to add to the list?

Then I realize something, and I let go of the sheet wrapping me, confident it will stay up, and start to play one of the songs from the show. It takes her a moment to recognise it, then she grins at me and throws her arms around my shoulders as carefully as ever, placing kisses down the side of my face.

"I knew you'd do it!" Gabby squeals and I laugh, the sound escaping my throat. "But are you meant to do _that_?" She asks, pointing to my neck.

I shrug. I don't think it matters too much now.

Gabriella shakes her head. "I want to hear you laugh, I do. Especially if you mean it." She smiles at me, obviously thinking back. "But I don't want to risk you losing your voice."

"I-"

"That was code for 'shut up'." Gabriella warns me, her hand covering my mouth. I just nod, and she removes her hand, replacing it with her lips.

Now this is something I could totally get used to.

A loud rattling surprises, and Gabriella jumps away from me in shock as her mom tries to open the door. Gabriella trips over her duvet in her haste to move towards her clothes, grabbing my sheet as she does and pulling me down on top of her. The sheet becomes unravelled in the process, and I'm left half exposed on top of her, my face an inch away from hers.

"Gabby?" Her mom asks through the door, giving it another try. "Is you door locked?"

"Yeah- just a second mom, we're…" She can't stop the giggle that escapes her throat as she stares into my eyes from below me. Gabriella clears her throat, determined to sound serious. "We're getting dressed." She almost blanches as she realises she's said 'we' and bites her lip as she waits for her mothers response. There's an awkward pause, but I can't help but carry on smiling, because this girl is an absolute vision.

"Oh, is Sharpay still here?" Comes the reply, and I smirk as Gabriella blushes a little.

"Yeah, she's changing in the bathroom." Gabby lies, stuttering a little. I can tell she isn't used to keeping secrets- especially from her mom.

"Oh. Well, tell her I'm making pancakes. Do you think she'll want some?"

Gabriella stares up at me, and I nod, keeping silent as usual. "Yeah, that'll be great. Thank you, mom." She calls back.

"They'll be on the table in ten minutes." Her mom says, and we hear her footsteps travel down the hallway, away from the door.

We both breathe out together, and smile in relief. That was very inconspicuous. We totally got away with that.

"Thank God the door was locked." She laughs, and I lean down before I know what's come over me, capturing her lips with my own. It's a soft kiss, and she responds just as gently. "Come on." She pulls away after a moment or two. "We need to get dressed- before she gets _really_ suspicious."

xoxoxoxoxox

The smell of pancakes in the morning is definitely something I live with. I think this whole morning is something I could end up liking a hell of lot actually.

Gabriella is sitting next to me, staring at me as she takes another small bite of pancakes off of her fork with her teeth. Her eyes are smouldering, and her lips stretch into a smile that makes my heart race.

I feel her foot against my own, and then her other foot moving to cup the other side of my leg, and run down it, sending shivers down my spine.

"Any plans for today, girls?" Her mom chirps as she enters the room once more, and we both pull away quickly, our knees banging against the table in almost perfect harmony.

It's loud, but hopefully not too obvious. And man, does it hurt.

"I… I don't know." Gabriella winces, one hand moving underneath the table. She rubs her own knee, and then moves onto mine, giving it a gentle squeeze before she pulls her hand away. "I guess we could finish up on our Biology project."

She sees the look on my face, and laughs. Though personally I don't get what's so funny.

"It's due tomorrow, Sharpay. And I'm not lowering my grade point average because you don't feel like doing work. So stop pouting at me." Gabriella smiles a little as the pout stays on my face. "If we get it done before lunch time then maybe we can go out. Or stay in." Her foot brushes against my leg again, and it's hard to tell how intentional it is. I'm suddenly hyper aware that her mother is in the room and attempt to suppress a blush as I stare down at my – suddenly very interesting – pancakes.

I nod, unable to do anything else. It's a good plan, if I'm honest. Work now, fun later. And I couldn't argue if I wanted to. My throat hurts and uneasy thoughts are preying on my mind. Did I damage my vocal chords last night? Should I go and see the Doctor?

"Are you okay?" Gabby asks, and I blink a few times before I look up, nodding at her. Silently, she gets up from the table, and comes back with a pen and notepad clutched tightly in her hands. "Liar. You can tell me. If you want to." She places the items on the kitchen island, and I stare at them, sighing. It takes a great deal of effort, a part of me no longer used to telling people things. Another part of me forces myself to pick up the pen, which I tap on the table for a moment. I don't know how to word this kind of thing. In the end, I just write.

'_I think I need to make another doctors appointment.'_ I write, keeping it simple.

"Why? Do you want me to call your mom?" She asks, softly. I glance over at Gabby's own mother, who's engrossed in her newspaper, then shake my head. She frowns at me, confused.

I sigh. _'My mom isn't great at the appointments. She's focused on other things.'_ I neglect to write 'has a one track mind on plastic surgery'. _'And it's nothing. My throat just hurts a bit.'_

Gabriella's eyebrow arches as she reads my note. "And I think I know why." She looks pained, like this is somehow her fault, and I touch her arm gently. "Which hospital and doctor are you under?"

I write down the details, and she nods, taking the note with her and moving into the living room. Within seconds I can hear that she's on the phone.

"So, you two seem to be getting on quite well again." Rachel Montez notes, looking up from her paper. "Better than before, I might even say."

I can only nod, biting my lip self-consciously. Oh, God. Does she know? I mean the only clues are probably my staying the night, this morning's locked door incident and the knees under the table and- OH GOD, she knows.

"Just don't hurt her like that again. Please?" She asks, looking at me from over the newspaper. It's a stern look, but still filled with concern. For the both of us I think. I nod, hoping my eyes express my apologies, and she nods back at me. It's just one nod, but it's firm as we make a silent promise to each other.

Neither of us want to see her that hurt again.

"You've got an appointment in three hours with your doctor, if you want it. It's an emergency one, as it's out of his usual hours, so I have to check if it's okay to put on your insurance." Gabriella asks, poking her head back into the room. It will cost a lot more, but I wave my hand at the question. My parents own the freaking country club. They've got great insurance, and the money to burn if they didn't. "Okay, I'll just go and confirm it with them." She disappears again, and comes back after a few more minutes.

"Well, should we try and get some work done before it's time for that?" She asks, her voice gentle, and I nod. I look to her, grabbing her hand and squeezing it gently. "What is it, sweetie?" Gabriella frowns softly at me, sitting back down at the table. "Do you… do you want me to come with you? To the hospital?" I nod, knowing my cheeks are flushed with the embarrassment of having to ask someone to come with me and be my voice. "Of course I will." Gabriella offers me a small smile, and jerks her head towards her stairs. "Come on. We've got a project to finish."

xoxoxoxoxox

The finishing touches are done within an hour and a half, and I'm not actually feeling bad about this. Not at all, actually. I mean Gabriella was working on it, and my GPA isn't exactly the lowest in the school. I decide that we actually make a pretty good team.

After that we sit on her bed. I'm sitting between her legs as she plays with my hair, and it feels gorgeous. Just her fingers running through the strands, her nails occasionally grazing lightly over my scalp. She talks about everything, and yet nothing, and eventually we fall into a comfortable silence. Then she moves my hair, gathering it all up into her precious, tiny little hands and placing it over my right shoulder. I feel her fingers gently stroke the bruising that still shows on the back of my neck, and I tense. Her fingers are soon replaced by her lips, brushing delicately over the sensitive skin, and I can't help the way my back arches and my head lolls backwards onto her shoulder. I'm exposed. Everything about me currently comes down to this, my most vulnerable feature (at this point in time) is being offered up to her. All she has to do is take it.

Her lips pull away from my skin, and I feel her breath on my neck, as she hesitates. Last night was special, and I'd felt safe- but somehow this feels different. And yes, somehow, I still feel like I'm the safest person in the world. Her arms move to my front, and she holds me in a way that's both firm and soft before her lips are back on my neck. On the bruises she continues to be careful, but then she works her way up, her lips moving up to my jaw line, and I sigh.

"Are you okay?" Gabriella asks, her voice no louder than a whisper.

I nod, slowly, my eyes closed as I try and make sense of the words moving around my mind. _Perfection_ is one of them. I turn in her arms, trying not to break the contact too much, and kiss her once on the lips. It's soft, and slow, and I hope it tells her what's going through my mind. We break apart, both breathing a little heavier than we probably should be after such a tame kiss, and study each others eyes for a moment. Then she smiles, and takes my hand.

"Come on, we should start to head off. Don't want to be late to your appointment." She gives me a final peck, on the corner of my mouth, and we get off the bed.

xoxoxoxoxox

I want to think of a song, to try and distract myself. But I've left my iPod in the car, and the only song that's going through my mind is the freaking funeral march. Of course, I know it won't be that bad. It can't be that bad, because I'm not sure what I would do if it _was_ that bad. I can't even think about it, and so I don't. I sit there, trying to think positively, imagining the doctor is just going to tut and tell me that I'm wasting his time over nothing.

xoxoxoxoxox

Of course, things never go to plan. It starts with the doctor looking very surprised that my mother isn't with me, and Gabriella introduces herself to him as a good friend. I almost smirk, but keep it at bay, and the doctor nods apprehensively.

"Right, well is this about your surgery options? Because I've already spoken to you and your mother quite a lot about that." He sighs, running through his history notes. I sigh, but my body goes a little rigid at the mention of surgery.

"Forget the surgery." Gabriella says, her voice quiet, but firm. "We're not here to talk about things she doesn't need." She glances at me, and places a left hand on shoulder, her thumb stroking my neck. It comforts me a little, and I feel my posture relax a small amount. "We're just worried that she's damaged her vocal chords." She coughs a little at the end of her sentence, and the doctor looks at her, frowning.

"Can I ask where these concerns are stemming from?" The man asks, and I nod. Of course, I can't say anything.

"Well, partially because she had to get her stitches redone last Tuesday. I know you weren't at the hospital, but I assume you know the basics."

"Yes." He nods once, looking down at the files. "Nothing tells me what causes the incident, but I know that she-" He turns to look at me. "You came into the Emergency Room quite late on the Tuesday night, bleeding from the neck. It had been torn in some way, and so they patched you up again." He looks down at his notes once more. "Though I can see you vocal chords weren't checked at the time. Has anything else happened since?"

I bite my lip, and look at Gabby. My eyes are filled with apology, and so are hers. "Yesterday… there was a _separate_ incident. And she spoke. It was only for a moment or so, but-"

"Well, that completely defies my instruction." The doctor says, and I can tell he's a little pissed. He takes in a breath, and looks at me with these eyes that have seen a thousand lies. "Though I understand it's hard to not talk for so long. I trust that it was important?"

I nod without a moment of hesitation, a small, guilty smile on my lips. I look up at Gabby, and she smiles back at me, her hand squeezing my shoulder a little.

"Then, let's do some checks. Shall we?"

He goes to his little trolley, and takes out a clean mirror. One of those little ones that dentists use. I pen my mouth when he tells me to, and he uses the mirror to look down my throat, and see my vocal chords. The thought freaks me out a little, and I feel sick. My palms are sweating again.

"I see some swelling." He tells me, as he takes the mirror out of my mouth. "And some residual scar tissue that seems to have grown. Probably due to last weeks trauma." He shrugs. "It's loose, hanging a little like dead skin, so I can try and take some off now, and hope it doesn't grow back." I nod, licking my lips. My whole mouth feels dry, and I try to swallow. But it seems impossible.

"Is there anything Sharpay can do? To help it not grow back?" Gabby asks. She sounds a little ill at the thought of him scraping at my vocal chords, but stays strong.

"I suppose to try and avoid irritating it, so definitely no speaking or… whatever happened last week." He looks to Gabriella, and then realises she isn't going to help him decipher that. "But it's hard to say. Sometimes scar tissue grows how it's meant to, and sometimes it doesn't. The best we can do is try to let nature do it's thing, and not to disturb it too much.

It's a relatively simple technique. He squirts some kind of local anaesthetic up my nose, and follows it with a tiny little camera and… biopsy taking device that looks a bit like a piece of spaghetti. It's long, and I don't feel any pain- just an uncomfortable sensation and the warmth of Gabriella's hand in mine.

When he finishes my throat feels strange, somewhere between numb and tingly. He tells me something about how he thinks he got enough of it not to interfere with my vocal chords in the future and how I really shouldn't test it until I pass my deadline.

"It's just over another week." He says. "I'm sure you can cope with that."

I nod, but my mind drifts to the crap that's been going on. About the way I haven't been able to defend myself. It never really occurred to me before, you know? How much I relied on my voice to get others to do what I wanted, to cut down other people and, of course, to build the walls I'd built around me.

Within about a week Gabby had knocked down a few bricks, got me to treat her like a friend. We'd got along, and it had been nice. Within a week and a half I'd been so smitten with her that I'd kissed her. And now… at this rate I wouldn't have any walls left by next Monday.

She takes me by the hand again as we leave the hospital. She's silent in the car, but once again it doesn't feel awkward. I try and think back, to when we reached that stage. It occurs to me we've never had an awkward silence between us- not when we weren't fighting at least. No matter what I've said to her, she's always had a reply, and vice versa. I think back to the Summer, when things had been going well for her and Troy. They'd have been better, of course, if I hadn't tried to interfere. I smile as I remember her standing up to me, by the pool, setting me straight about what she had thought about me at that point in time. I wish I could ask her about it now. Did she ever hate me?

After all, I'd been quite the bitch. That much was certainly true. She takes me home, and we sit in the car outside my house for a moment. I see the curtains twitch, and know it has to be my mother. I hadn't told her I was going out last night, so God knows what she's thinking right now.

"Thank you, for letting me go with you." She finally says, and I look at her with a slightly stunned look on my face. No, I should be thanking her. I reach across, and touch her face, and she nods, understanding. "Do you want me to come inside, or…"

I bite my lip, thinking, and eventually shake my head. I look back towards the house, where the door has opened, and my mother stands there, waiting for me with an impatient tap of her foot.

"Right, I suppose you'll have enough to deal with." Gabriella gives a small chuckle, but I can tell she doesn't want to be laughing about this. I want to kiss her, but I can feel my mother's eyes on us, and so I move my hand from her cheek, and touch her hand, giving it a tight squeeze.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Sharpay." Gabby smiles at me, and I nod. "You can come over to breakfast, you know. If you want to." My grin widens, and I nod once more. Reluctantly I let go of her hand, moving out of the comfort of her car. She watches me as I approach the house, not leaving until I turn and give her one last, small wave.

Then I'm faced with my mother, who's scowl makes my heart sink a little. But I'm not letting it get me down that easily.

"And where have you been?" She asks, locking my way to the front door. I frown, wondering how she expects me to reply, and so point behind me, to where Gabriella's car is driving away. "With that girl?"

That girl? I hate how my mother can't just leave _anything_ in my life alone.

I feel my neck prickle as I push my way past my mother. She grabs my arms as I go by, turning me to face her again. "I hope it was for that science project your brother says you've been doing with her. Don't want to mix with the wrong kind of people, do we? Not unless we have to."

I wish I didn't have to mix with her, and I almost say the words. But, of course, I can't.

"What do you mean 'wrong'?" I hear Ryan's voice from the kitchen, and turn to him. I give him a look of relief and he nods at me, in way of a greeting and acknowledgment.

"I'm not stupid, she's obviously Spanish." My mother sighs, exasperated at having to explain herself. "And we don't mix with people who could one day be our staff."

My stomach clenches, and I fight to get away from her, pulling my arm from her grasp in such a rush that it leaves nail marks down my arm.

"Mom!" Ryan calls, coming closer. "How can you say that? Gabriella's one of the smartest people in our school. She's gotten accepted early to a ton of colleges, including Stanford."

I glance at him for a moment, wondering why I don't know about this. Early acceptance means she leaves before the school year is up, right? I push the feeling aside, and settle my gaze back on my mother.

"It's not the brains that will be her downfall." My mother tuts. "But the laziness. It's just bred into them."

I can't say anything, which means I can't change her mind. And so I leave the room, listening to Ryan try and make his point. He weakens as she powers on with her mind set on the outcome, and I actually cry a little as he's forced to back down.

This is the way she works. You tell her something and she'll try and force you to either see things her way or pretend you do. The thought takes me back to the Country Club, and the reason that there had been so many staffing positions to fill last Summer. The whispered arguments and comments that had been passed around after the lifeguard had been fired, along with the waiter that he'd been seeing outside of work. Mother and father had noticed, and during one heated debate where the workers had gathered as a union to stop discrimination, my parents had fired about 70% of our staff.

No one dared breathe a word about the situation after that, Ryan and myself included.

I don't know how many minutes I sit against my door, silent tears slipping down my cheeks as I focus on my breathing. I know I can't sob or scream, and it kills me as I listen to Ryan start to give up.

"I don't know why you're being so defensive." My mother says, her voice betraying her sneer. "You're not thinking about dating her, are you? I mean it's _someone_ I suppose, but… have you met Karen's daughter? She's lovely. She goes to a Catholic school, just outside of town."

I block out the rest of the conversation, not wanting to have to listen avoid the subject of his love life once again.

I hear a 'ping' from my phone and fish it out of my pocket. The screen is lit up, telling me I have a new message. I press 'ok' and read it.

_I miss you already. Is that bad? Xx (Gabriella M, 6:37pm)_

For the first time since I've been home I smile, my fingers slowly typing out my thoughts.

_If it's bad then we both belong in jail. I just want to see you. Xx_

I sit there for a long moment, staring at my phone, and my heart speeds up a little when the screen lights up once more.

_Believe me, I know._ The reply says, and I wonder if it's as desperate on her end as it is on mine. I doubt it. _It's a school night, so mom says you can't stay. But if you want to escape for a bit then we can watch a movie at mine. Xx (Gabriella M, 6:40pm)_

I text back an yes, faster than I've ever texted in my life, and within a moment I've grabbed my car keys. I bite my lip, and think about Ryan before I go to his room. I can hear mom downstairs, but it sounds like daddy's home. He's moaning about people that he works with and stupid stuff that I don't care about. At least they're distracted. I knock on his door, and hear a grumbled 'come in'. When he sees it's me he sits up quickly, wiping at his cheeks.

"Shar, what's up?" He asks, his face forming a frown. "Are you okay?"

I nod, and hand him my phone with Gabby's last text on it for him to read.

"Are you sure you want me to come?" He asks, but he can't hide the hope on his face, and so I nod, giving him a small smile. "Then let's go."

xoxoxoxoxox

Twenty minutes later we've pulled up at Gabby's house, and I knock on the door. She opens it within a minute, and looks a little surprised to see Ryan as well.

"Oh, hi. I didn't know you were coming." Gabriella says, but replaces the stunned look with a smile in a moment.

"I hope it's okay. I think Sharpay wanted to get me out the house." He smiles, and I elbow him lightly.

"Of course it's fine. Come inside, we have a movie to watch."

Ryan gestures for me to walk in first, and I do, grabbing Gabriella's hand as we walk towards the living room. Ryan follows, and when I turn to him his eyes are on our hands. I stop, and look at him, my eyebrow arched in a challenge.

"Am I… is this what I think it is?" He asks, and I bite my lip as I nod. I _know_ he won't disapprove, but it doesn't stop the butterflies that are currently messing with my stomach. "Right."

"What's wrong?" Gabriella asks, her tone a little defensive. "I thought you'd be happy-"

"I am!" Ryan says, holding his hands up for protection. "I'm just not sure I want to be around when someone tells mom and dad that both their children are gay."

It's the first time it's really been said out loud, like that. He's never admitted it that plainly- like it hardly matters- to me before, and I've never even thought of myself as gay, but I suppose I can't be straight. So I have to be _something_ right? Either way it fills my thoughts as we watch _Sweet Home Alabama_, Gabby's fingers tracing patterns up my arm. It occurs to me that he's right. If we tell our parents, then I'm not sure how long it will be before they stop calling us their children.


End file.
